Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 2/16/2019
By petal
I do and it’s totally 🤮 This dream is semi lucid in that I’m know that I’m dreaming but at first it’s not too nasty enough to wake myself up. Even towards the end, I’m stuck in it with a poorly kind of fascination. I find myself in a kind of junk yard. There is of muddy puddles on the floor. I’m skipping around the worst. I’m looking for my house to curl up to go to sleep. I get the feeling I’m waiting for a guy. I think he is some how my saviour but I also think that’s silly because irl I don’t think of any man that way. So my curiosity is peaked, like WTF? The village of wooden houses seem to be on netted stilts. It’s only after I wake up that I realise the place could be a chicken yard and the houses chicken coops. Itd (in the dream) the place feels like a kind of playground for the rich adults. I’m not rich. Itd, I think that’s stupid too. I’m just looking for a safe place to bed down and get comfortable for a nice night of me rest. I feel at this point it’s important to note that irl I’m a single very mildly attractive lady not currently looking for a date or a man but thinking I should be putting up my profile again on the internet, with some trepidation mostly to alleviate other people’s concerns for my future welfare. I don’t date local people I met randomly because I need and like people to have shared interests and similar Ideas/circumstances. Also because I’m introverted (or stubbornly sociably rude/awkward, however you like to describe, it’s no skin) hate normal dating/chat up and don’t like small talk or can’t be bothered to explain myself well to people who aren’t likely to be interested or even interesting anyways. I never know or pick up subtle clues if men might fancy me or not. They have to spell it out for me and even then it could take me weeks/ months/years to decide if I reciprocate. I’m just really slow that way. I guess that’s one, but by means the biggest, reason why I’m still on the shelf. I’ve learned to rotate my inappropriate crushes so as not to embarrass myself. Currently it’s a non dream related famous actor who doesn’t know my existence which is perfect, just how I like it. 👌🏻I don’t really think about men for pleasure much, except perhaps at certain times of the month. Then it doesn’t really fit into my romantic ideals. It’s just hormones playing out the cycle. I don’t really care to or want to fit in with social ideals. I mean because I don’t like really a lot of people around me and think very independently. I don’t really fit into the wifey, 2 point 4 Mummy type social ideals of most men or most people in general. (Even though I might look like it) All I really want is to have good genuine long term friendships to do nice stuff like country walks, watch the odd film on occasion etc. Anyways... that what my profile more or less says. So I’m looking up at these strange wooden apartments wondering which one is mine and I decided on one that looks sweet. I’m just about to go up when I think a predator is about to come round the corner and is after me. My phone goes off and someone tells me “his” apartment is safer as the predator planning to break into mine. I feel awkward about it but I walk up the yard to “his” apartment and with some difficultly of getting up the ropes I get into his apartment. It’s nice but I’m embarrassed to be there without his permission. He rings me and tells me it’s okay. Just stay there until the coast is clear and you can get back to your own place. (I still have know idea who “he” is, at that point, He’s just a voice seemingly telling how to get out of tricky situation.) Reluctantly I go to sleep on his bed. (Cause irl life I’ve just come back from holiday and genuinely just want sleep.) Although the apartment feels pretty impersonal and bland, I wake up knowing I’m soon to be discovered in his rather cosy bed. (Where Im surprised to find I still shouldn’t be) So I decide to chance it and make a dash home. But the guy is on the phone again “no just stay put, she won’t find you and it’s better for you if she doesn’t”. I feel like there is some misleading game or trick is going on and thinks “WTF again, this is only a protracted dream. I want some proper shut eye.” So I ignore what he says and scramble down from his nice hut and head back to my own place, which is just as nice by the way and feel a whole lot more personally safe. Unfortunately, before I get there a man and a woman appear from round a corner. So I hid in this really weird fabric box/ tube play thing. They don’t see me but I sense they mostly know I’m there and start putting on this really fake show for me. The woman is leading and from what I can hear of the conversation she appears to have him upper her thumb, or a least he really likes her. I suspect but can’t see that she literally has him by the gonads. I would have thought fair play to her, but she’s giving him instructions how to set me up for a nasty sexual encounter with him so she can watch me being betrayed. 😲😟 I’m mildly outraged but not so worried. I ain’t planning nothing myself, so I’ll be fine 😇. Even though I’m getting the idea who these people are by then. However, it’s all a bit sick in the old sense and I can hear his heavy breathing. He’s really into it. He quite a bit older and it is totally inappropriate. “🤮 ☹️”! I’s think he is such a fraudulent Wally to be that turned on by her and the thought of setting up me. I really have no idea🤷🏻♀️ which is turning him on most, probably a bit of both. I’m getting annoyed and embarrassed to be dreaming this. I think she is almost like a man, to have that much control of his bollocks. I don’t know what sort of person she is really, probably very nice irl life and conventional (like he is) but If I was into girls and if the dream is anything to go by, she wouldn’t be my first choice. I mean she’s not bad to look at but the bollock crunching thing is pretty scary and she seems happy to fuck me over too. It’s sort of funny but I’m like near puking and totally wanting out of the fabric box thing and the whole stupid dream all together. They start to kiss and are really close. Almost as if I’m under their dinner table or her skirt. 😦🤭🥺 They bend under my tent thing and I see them necking like fighting chickens with their eyes shut. 🥺🤬🙄 I’m really trying to wake up by this time, The dreams way out of control. I know if one of them opens their eyes their going to find I fully lucid. I am totally lucid at this point and thinking yikes! 🙀🤮🤮 Just as I think this, the woman opens her eyes and looks startled straight into mine. I see, by her eye expressions she is absolutely angry, livid and taken aback that I’m awake and have caught her out being lurid and playing deliberately nasty. The man is completely oblivious and about to burst. I’m bewildered/bemused/panicking too, so I give her my cheesiest smile 🤩🖖🏻and blink out of the dream. I’m still trying to figure out if the local couple are really who I think they are irl, or if shared lucid dreaming has true credence. Surely not! I bloody hoping not! But if none of its true irl, what the hells going on in my subconscious to think of those poor unsuspecting people in that way. I decidedI’m mostly jealous of their relationship, likely stirred up by stupid Valentine’s Day, which is horrible, but I still not sure why all the slightly coerced sordid sex stuff? Some of it’s just got to have come from another source, than just my daft head. 🙈😱😧😧😧😬😬😬😬🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤐😏😹😑