sadness was all i felt

Date: 12/24/2019

first thing i remember is how everyone left my grandma and i when something we did failed. they walked out on us and their excuse was “it’s just the way things work”. it felt very shitty and all we could do was watch everyone leave. next, it was monday after winter break, i remember how i didn’t even want to walk into the schools building, so i didnt. i told myself i was only ditching 1st period and then going in for the 2nd class of the day. but before i knew it, i was at the jack in the box and it was mid day through the school day. i just remember feeling empty all day, no one called, texted, no one checked up on me. which didn’t really matter too much, but it still would’ve been nice for one of my friends to text me asking why i didn’t go to school. eventually i realized i had spent most of my day in the jack in the box so i left and went on a walk. i walked by my school and contemplated actually going in for the last class of the day, but i felt like it wouldn’t make too much sense, plus, the school would’ve called my parents to tell them that i only showed up for one class. i had no where else to go, so as i walked down the street i saw the cops. i got scared they would approach me and ask me why i’m not in class, and at this time i also remembered that i had forgot my laptop back at Jack in a box, so i rushed my ass back there. when i walked back in i saw my cousin, karen, with a bunch of her friends. her brother was also there with her so i approached him and asked him if he’s seen my laptop, luckily he did and gave it to me ! my cousin and her friends all looked at me ugly as i said to aaron (my cousin) how if HE doesn’t mind, ima stick with him until 2:10 bc i accidentally ditched the whole school day. karen and her friends didn’t want me there but they were high as fuck so they couldn’t say shit. they kept ordering fries tho. aaron and i sat at the end of the table eating fries and catching up bc i don’t talk with him that often. at the same time, i was also thinking of what i was going to do after school, thinking if anyone even wanted to see me or hang out with me. for starters, mr yee is gone so i can’t run to him, victor has his girlfriend, saul, and the rest of my friends go straight home, so basically i had no one. i just felt alone and empty, as if i had no other outlet and i was stuck.