paranoia

Date: 10/13/2024

In this dream, I was home alone and paranoid about someone breaking into my house. I tried to ignore it, but couldn’t. The house was just way too big and way too creepy. Eventually, I began to “hear things” and hallucinate. I hallucinated the sound of someone breathing. I hallucinated the visual of a girl trying to open my side door. So, I opened the door wide open and ran outside the house, screaming for help. I had screamed as loud as possible. When I realized that it was all just a hallucination, I was embarrassed that I screamed so loudly. A part of me wanted to go back inside the house, but another part of me was afraid to see my neighbors come out to check in on me, only for me to have to tell them that I was just being crazy. On top of that, the house was still too creepy for me. So, I left and ran, with the door still wide open. I made it to a large building. I’m not sure what it was. I think it was a fancy, rich school. I met with one of my friends. In real life, I would’ve had no idea who this guy is… but in the dream, he was a very close friend. The way he behaved around me was as if he secretly liked me. Anyway, I told him the situation - from me being paranoid to me running out of the house and worsening my anxiety even more by leaving the front door open. He was confused about why I left the door open and kept asking me why I’d do that, and I felt so embarrassed. I tried to explain that I was just too panicked and afraid to even remember to close it. My friend then told me he’d walk me home after school. We went to the school cafeteria for lunch. The cafeteria didn’t even really look like a normal cafeteria. It looked like a straight up grocery store, but maybe that’s what rich school cafeterias look like in my dream-world. There, we met with our third friend. She was beautiful, with this super tan, caramel skin and long blonde hair. She honestly looked like a sim I was making in The Sims 4. A guy suddenly approached us and tried to hit on her, but he was coming on too strong. When she tried to get away, he became aggressive and threatened violence. So, I got up, grabbed her arm, and we all 3 walked away. The dude kept following us. It became a chase. Eventually, he got caught up in something else and had to stay back while my friends and I managed to leave the comically large school early. My friend and I caught the girl up on the situation and explained why we were going to my house. She went with it pretty easily and casually, saying she’d go too and make sure the house is safe. As we were walking, we ran into an outdoor bar. It was beautiful and tropical looking. A lot of peers I knew from my childhood were there, bartending. I hugged some of them. My friends and I all sat at the bar to take a break. I didn’t drink anything. Instead, I sat there anxiously and waited for my friends to hurry up and finish so I could just get home and close the door. I was so afraid of animals and bugs getting into my house, or other humans who had bad intentions. I was even afraid of the creep from school following us home and getting through that door. A dude at the bar began showing off his 2-year old son, because they looked alike. I don’t know why he brought his kid to a bar, but whatever. He looked like Gibby from iCarly. I went to my male friend, who was still drinking and appeared sad. I wondered if it had to do with his hidden feelings for me, and the fact that I wasn’t really acknowledging them even though I knew they existed. I told him we had to go now and that I was getting really anxious. He took his sweet time getting off the bar stool and continued walking me home. Our female friend followed. Our next destination was an office. One of the teachers from the school was there. She looked pretty, with dark brown hair that almost looked black, and sleek modern reading glasses. I explained my situation for what felt like the 50th time, and the teacher chastised me for leaving my front door open like that and not using my brain. I was embarrassed, yet again. She said she would come along with us to patrol the house, because we “clearly need an adult to come too.” All four of us (me, the male friend, the blonde girl, and the teacher) walked to my house and finally made it. Outside of my house was a line of people. They were all cheering that we made it home. I was so weirded out and wondered if maybe I was hallucinating again. It was reminiscent of the Wizard of Oz, when everyone was cheering for Dorothy at the end and wishing her well before she went back home. Britney Spears was even in the line of people. I vividly remember her giving me this calm, comforting, knowing look, as if she was silently telling me I’m safe now. The blonde girl took my key and opened the door, which confused me… because I literally left the door open when I ran away. So, why was it closed and locked? The teacher, male friend, blonde girl, and I all walked into the house and closed the door behind us. There were no bugs, animals, or intruders. However, there was a woman sitting on my couch, and it was a family friend. I wouldn’t have recognized her in real life, but in the dream, she was a family friend who I was very comfortable with and felt safe with. I asked her why she was there, and she looked confused. She said she had always been there, and reminded me that she was staying there for a while until she could find her own place. She treated me like I had bumped my head for not remembering, and asked if I was okay. My friends patted my back and reassured me like, “Well, I guess the house is safe then.” The teacher left at some point, to go back to work. Also, I don’t know why, but there were cute pets and infants crawling around the living room. Maybe they belonged to the family friend. Out of nowhere, my uncle barged into the room, followed by my aunt. He yelled at me, telling me that I had betrayed God and that I am the villain in this story. My aunt just cried. I didn’t get it at all, and was speechless while he continued to yell at me. My friends looked just as confused, but they angrily told him to stop. My uncle began crying too, and said that him and my aunt saw me as a “mother of all” because of my mother-like qualities, which “makes everything hurt even more.” He continued cursing at me and screaming. Eventually, he was escorted out of the house. I don’t know if my aunt stayed or not. I’m shocked she was even there, because in real life, she’s been deceased for a while now. Anyway, that’s how the dream ended. I was relieved that I was finally safe and no longer alone in the house, but felt weirded out by what my uncle had said. Also, there was this pit in my stomach that told me it’s possible I had a psychotic break, which would explain why I didn’t even realize or remember that my family friend has been staying with me. It was a strange, bittersweet type of ending.