Playing Guitar on my Birthday

Date: 8/26/2019

So, it’s my birthday and I want to get together with some friends and play guitar. So, I have it worked out. I will go out in the country and meet them there. BL and I arrive in a Black car. Im wearing a short black dress (yikes short), and several beaded necklaces. My hair is curly. BL and I get out of the car, and I notice that there are a lot of cars. I’m already worried. BL looks like he knows what’s up, but isn’t talking about it. We go inside. There are about 100 people in there! I start to lose it. BL is standing at my right as we stand at the foot of the stage. He’s trying to calm me down. “Julie, I don’t understand. You’ve played for big groups before. You are prepared for 3, but what is the difference between that and 100? How you play remains the same. These people are here to support you.” I look at him, and I know he means well. But I feel despair at the thought of playing for 100. I realize he is right, though. As usual. I note that I love how much he has faith in my abilities. It’s great to have that. I’m not sure how many others have that much faith in me, and I know he has reason to know that I can do it. He taught me all that I know about guitar. That’s something. But I really don’t want him to say that he believes in me, not at this moment. What I want is a hug and hear it will be okay. But, I know I’m not going to get that. What I am going to get is that unflinching support as I’m forced to be strong anyway. That’s also kind of nice, in its own way. I sigh. “Fine. I will do it. I love that you believe in me, but it doesn’t make me feel better about the prospect of having to play for 100 people. I just want a moment to get my mind wrapped around the idea before I actually do it.” He smiles. “Fair enough”