Broken Lunchbox, Groped by Boss

Date: 6/1/2017

1: I was at the old house trying to get ready for school. It was a recurring dream in which I'm late and failing. In those dreams I'm often in high school but the setting is my old middle school. That was the case in this dream. I was digging through drawers, closets and suitcases looking for pants, and I was uncoordinated and barely able to stay awake. I'd resorted to looking through my mom's pants and pantyhose for ones to look good with a top of hers I wanted to wear. She was mad at me for being late and failing, and hurried me into the car with clothes still im my arms. None of them matched though and I told her I was so exhausted anyway and the day was halfway over and I really just wanted to go back home. She went off on me, basically saying I was making her life hard by being a failure and still living at home, which I don't irl. I got so mad that I yelled at her for making my life hard by her and dad drinking through my entire childhood, and then I told her a secret that I've kept from her irl since I was a teenager. That one time when she was drunk she attacked me and was twisting my shirt around my throat and not letting me leave. In a moment of rage at her drinking, and also because I wanted to get away, I broke my metal lunchbox over her head. It didn't even phase her and then dad found us and pulled her off me. She didn't even remember it the next day and asked me how I broke it. I lied and told her I dropped it, and never told her the truth. She doesn't drink as much these days fortunately. Anyway in the dream I told her, then we were back home and I thought I heard her crying about it and felt awful. It turned out to be my sister crying though because she was exhausted and not wanting to go to school either. We agreed to stay home together. 2: I was in a classroom with a kid who used to be a client, and helping him with a science project. He had a cushion like you would rest your laptop on, and was pouring water through it to show all the bad dyes and chemicals that came out the other side. I was telling his classmates that I'd spilled drinks on those before and sucked out the liquid to still drink it, so I guess I was drinking those dyes and chemicals also when I did that. Then I walked over to the other side of the room where my 60 yr old boss was lounging on a stretcher just to relax. I sat next to him and started talking about a client who was released from the hospital. My boss said "They forgot to do something though" and grabbed my crotch sort of in the groin between my leg and my privates. I was so stunned I just tried to add it into the conversation. "They forgot to physically examine her?" "Right!" he said. Later I confided in my abusive ex that whenever I get touched or talked to inappropriately, I don't confront it because I'm already too upset and don't want to go through the awfulness of acknowledging or dealing with it, which has been true irl. One time a manager at my restaurant job slapped me on the ass and I just looked at him, stunned, as he walked away. My ex admonished me for this, saying I should stand up to them.