My Death [7/22/19]

Date: 7/22/2019

I’ve had scary dreams before, but in all of them, my dream self usually remains calm. I find that I often distance myself from the events going on in dreams. Even in my recent one about the serial killer, I wasn’t... scared. This was different. The dream started with me at school. Not my real school, but one nonetheless. We were playing some kind of game, involving throwing and dodging and all that. The dream’s world seemed slightly altered than our own - things were strange, different. But either way, I remember that it felt photorealistic. I thought I was awake in the dream. Anyways, at the end of the game I slipped and fell. One of the girls on the opposing team, short with platinum blonde hair and dark grey-brown eyes, was mocking me afterwards. Probably because we won and she didn’t! “There’s such a thing as slipping,” I told her with a roll of my eyes. “Yeah, well I never do that. I’m too surefooted.” She replied haughtily. “There’s such a thing as arrogance, too.” I mused and walked off. She was annoyed behind me. I was walking and thought about something going on at home. In this dream I guess my brother was adopted and considering leaving us for his real family. By the way... none of us are adopted in real life, haha. After that, one of my friends in the real life appeared to help me practice French. I didn’t know any of the words, which is awful and something I fret about while awake as well. Then I left to head to my next class. There were little pieces of the dream that were wrong - I remember thinking, “It’s still too early in the summer for me to start school...” So, in between buildings there was a kind of suspended bridge that connected them. This bridge’s height was remote-controlled by the gym teacher. See, the strange details. I guess it could go down to ground level, or otherwise REALLY far up (I knew firsthand its limits... it sounds stupid now but it went up into the sky)! Suddenly the bridge jerked up a little and everyone clutched at the railing. The bridge was mainly empty, just me and a few other kids. There was some surprise but everyone figured it was a little mistake. Then it lurched and flew all the way down to ground level. That was scary and I joked, “What’s the cannibal doing now?” Yes... in that time, I genuinely couldn’t think of any better name for our gym teacher than a cannibal... All of a sudden the bridge skyrocketed up. Way above the low-lying school - WHY DID IT GO SO HIGH? Up and up we went like a bullet, and I was filled with dread. “God, no, please...” I heard from in front of me. I remember looking down as the ground fell away, taking in the painted landscape of greenery and nature. The wind screamed in my face and around my ears. My hands, nose and cheeks were burning from the exposure. I panicked as the bridge continued hurling up towards the clouds. I didn’t want to die. There was so much I could have done. My parents, my family... I didn’t want to leave them. Eventually the bridge teetered. The world swayed below us. Then it fell forwards. It was quick - the ground that fell away was now lurching forward at a horrifying speed. I felt weightless, yet I was anything but. We plummeted, I fell away. I had the feeling of being utterly unable to change anything around me. No matter what I did, I could not change the fate approaching rapidly. So I clutched at the railing and watched us fall closer and closer. It will be quick. At least it will be quick and painless. And it was. The ground was there, and then suddenly it wasn’t. Nothing was there. Darkness, an empty void, filled only by a staticky white noise surrounding me. In those moments I wondered, will my mind be reborn? Will she remember this, remember me? A little girl with light blonde locks flashed before me. Was that my future? My next life? No, no, NO! I did not want this! I didn’t want to leave. I fought it, I fought the darkness. I forced my eyes open and immediately felt relief. I was heaving for air, and had to calm my breaths. It all felt so real. I didn’t want to die.