Alexander.

Date: 1/11/2017

Kept having dreams and still continue to dream of him. Yet while I'm awake I remember how bad he's hurt me. But when I'm asleep I can't stop thinking about him and what if. Every dream with him in it is so confusing. It's not love it's just heartache and misery. I look at him and feel every emotion I had when he left as if it happened all over again yet it's not real. I wake up at times crying and feel as if my chest is bleeding. Can I really be this confused about Alex? He hurt me beyond the point of me wanting to stick around. But a little piece of my soul is always wandering around thinking what if and such about him. Can I not dream anymore, that's all I ask. If someone can help me not dream anymore that would be amazing. Anything to get out of this confusing world I'm trapped in.