Re-write History

Date: 7/8/2019

What a horrible dream. Had a dream I was back in school as a kid. It went for hours. Brendan and I were becoming a couple in year 5/6. We had our first kiss blah blah just a cute kid love story. However in the dream I was from the future Present me. I was happy to exsperience life before trauma. However I knew that the cancer was coming. I was waiting for blood results and thought maybe the cancer exsperience would be easier seeing I caught it. Connor was there and he hadn't had cancer yet either. I turned to him and said 'a tragedy awaits us' Then out if no where I was 14 I was in a old high school. Everything was old victorian style and it was like we were in the early 50s. The school was old there was no technology. Anyways all the kids from primary school were there. I had longest gold blonde hair and life was wow. I found out I never got cancer is this timeloine and I was dancing around so happy. I kept wondering what changed in this timeline? I went over my memories and couldn't come to a answer. I realised no one knows what causes my type of cancer and it's pointless to overthink ot. I just need to move on and enjoy my new life. The school was having a girls day out and a bunch of us got to go to water parks and look out to the ocean which had thousands of animals This dream makes me sad. I just wish I could go back in time. I want to be a child again and I want my old friends. That dream just shows exactly why obsessed with brendanor why I'm deep down I'm not obsessed with him at all I'm really more obsessed with wanting to live in the past. If realise If the obsession was more about Brendan I would talk about him more as person rather than a childhoodfroend and his appearance and making young me happy Heaps more happened in the dream. It felt so real but this pretty much sums it up.