Arson+Hospital

Date: 2/3/2017

I was in what looked like my family home, a big house , it was light outside, I saw my parents leaving through the front door , waving me goodbye , happy , like everything was just normal. But I felt a weird rage inside, a desire for revenge , not necessarily towards my parents or in fact , any of my family, but all I could think of is the people who put me through hell when I got forced to stay In a psychiatric hospital on one of the many occasions, and I just couldn't let those feelings and thoughts go, I wanted my whole world to finally end, because I knew I was not going to get any better anymore , so The minute they left I headed to the kitchen, I found a metal bottle of what looked like paint remover, and I rather aggressively started pouring it all over myself , the liquid spilled across the floor too though, and so as I lit a match , I threw it down, and the wonderful flames of deep red and purple-ish blue started dancing and caressing me all around. I closed my eyes . But this was not my end . I suddenly heard sirens, likely the fire engines. I opened my eyes again, only to see that I have not died , but burned down my whole house, everywhere was black and dark, just flames, and black smoke. I started to choke. My vision went blurry , then I saw nothing at all. Next thing I know, I wake up in a green tinted room, on a white bed, with a male doctor stood by me, and he says: "this was your last chance" and hell, I knew what that meant. Hospital time for me once again. But I thought no, I cannot bare this no more, I want me one, once and for all. So I grab the closest thing I saw , which happened to be a silver metal pen in the doctors' front pocket, I first aimed it at my own throat but then I thought ; this is a ridiculous way to go. I wanted out, again, to do it the way I want. So I stabbed the doctor in the chest , and attempted to get off the bed and go. But yet, another doctor and nurse and through the door, and held me down by force, put my wrists in cuffs , had me tied down to the bed , and injected me with what I nowadays call , the "sleep potion" . And off I go. My vision once again blurs , and I no longer have control . But they do, just like they always have, and now, now that they have me in the looney home again, I fear they always will. And that's how my nightmare ends. And I wake up, with tears down my cheeks, feeling as if I really was screaming to get out. When really , I was asleep. But this isn't just a nightmare made up from my the back of my mind. This, is a picture from my past, and unfortunately, a glimpse of what my future life . I know it's coming, I'm just lingering around still, waiting maybe my fate will change.