The Happiest I’ve Ever Been

Date: 9/6/2018

​I remember having a dream. You might be saying, “Everyone has dreams.” You would be right, however, this dream was different, for me at least. Before I start, I will say this, some of this I wrote down right after I woke up, and other parts are what I can remember right now. Also, the names are not their real names. ​It all started in a mall. I walked up to an elevator that was in the center and it was all glass. There were walkways leading from the elevator to the sides of the mall where everything was located. I took the elevator up and walked over to one side. I don’t remember much up until I was over there for a while. There were many people I knew in the dream. Abbie, Jarod, some of my own family, and the most important person in this story, Jackie. She will play the largest part. Jarod and I were in a room just talking about things in it. In real life I had recently bought something off him, I assume this is a connection to that. Again, a lot of things become fuzzy and I forgot or didn’t have anything there. I’ve read that you have about seven different dreams while sleeping and they all try to connect. I ended up somehow in my dad’s house standing at the front door with family members who have never even been there. Then there was nothing. ​We will now start with the largest part of the dream and the part that had the most impact on me mentally. While I don’t understand why some people showed up in the dream, like Abbie, I think I know why Jackie showed up. She was a good friend of mine in high school, she is one of the few people I actually say that I miss talking to. I was looking through the calendar on my phone when I noticed her birthday. I guess my brain made note of that. That’s my only explanation of why she is in the dream. So what I am about to say will sound weird and bear with me and don’t judge me. I guess at some point Jackie and I did the deed. I will say this right now though, it didn’t happen in real life. Don’t ask me why it happened, it just did. Fast forward a bit and we find out she is pregnant. This was the thing that sent me on a mental rollercoaster. I was happy. I wanted to tell everyone, but I was only allowed to tell Abbie. She was super excited. Apart from being the close friend in the story, she didn’t really do much else in the dream. Jackie and I were hugging and we couldn’t contain out excitement. While I was standing there ready to tell everyone, she kept telling me to keep it a secret for a bit. I assume that is just in case something goes wrong, no one will know. I had never been so happy before in my life. I can’t even compare the happiness I felt in the dream to happiness I have felt in real life. Nothing has ever come close to the feelings I had in the dream. ​I thought about it and for some reason when I thought about the person being someone other than Jackie, I wasn’t as excited. I still have yet to figure out why she was the one. In real life she is just a friend, nothing more. I don’t really have feelings for her. There is someone I have feelings for and yet even they couldn’t compare to Jackie. I thought about it more and realized something. Every time I think about being in a relationship, I always say that I don’t have the time, the money, nor the drive for something like that. However, for some reason, Jackie doesn’t fall into that. She is the one relationship that I would put the time, money, and drive into. Now, at this point I’m sure you are thinking, “Damn, this guy is creepy” or something along those lines. I don’t plan on following up on everything that happened. She, as far as I know, is dating someone and I am happy for them. I would never try to break them up because that isn’t who I am. I just want to know why. Why was it her? Why did I even feel something like that? Why did I have the dream? What does the dream mean? Why is the dream effecting me so much? I’ve had dreams with large emotional impact in them before, but not to that extent. That was heavy, still is. That was my dream.