Slumlord Rat King Michael Cera

Date: 12/14/2022

I went with New Guy to visit some friends who lived at a horrible apartment building. There were way too many people living there, the conditions were not good, and the floorplan didn't make any sense. We had to walk through other apartments and duck under low doorways to get to his friends' place. We got there and hung out for a while. They were cool. We all slept on the floor in a giant basement area with weirdly ornate arches. The landlord came to give a speech, which is a weird amount of effort to put into a property he clearly didn't care much about. I was like, "What kind of person is the landlord of this place?" Turns out it was Michael Cera. He started to speak, but it was revealed that he was actually hundreds of rats pretending to be Michael Cera. They poured out of the Michael Cera costume, climbed the arches, and disappeared into the crawlspace of the building. We all just went to sleep after that, I guess. In the morning, New Guy had played a bunch of pranks on me and was excited for my reactions. I had packed a sandwich for breakfast. He had hidden it in a dingy old kiddie pool. Out of the baggie. I was like, "One thing about me, I hate liquid-based pranks! Why would you do this? There were chips on that sandwich!" I was deeply upset that the chips in particular had gotten soggy. I threw the sandwich in the air and one of the bread slices landed on his head. He was horrified and regretful. He tried to prepare me for the rest of the pranks. I asked if there were any more liquid-based pranks. He said yes, I should open my overnight bag. It was full of water. I had packed a LOT of clothes and they were all soaked.