Excrutiating Nightmare

Date: 3/14/2018

I have been awake now for 30 minutes and I continue to feel intense psychic pain over the dream I awoke from. My young son died by way of a freak accident. My husband came to me and told me he was dead. I had periods of grief after finding out. I wanted to call 911 but my husband said we should clean up a bit. I argued that it was clean enough - I needed to call 911. He brought me my son and he was still warm. I tried to call 911 and I was able to give our address. I was in the laundry-room where he had fallen and hit his head. My son came to me in his full form and demonstrated exactly how he had died. He is young, age 8, and He was interested in playing with the lint trap on the dryer, so he used the side of a large vase to stand on. But since this had a rounded surface, it of course slipped out from under him causing him to fall at a great velocity, down. He subsequently twisted while falling and hit his head on the cement steps. I asked him if it hurt and he said a little and he told me he was so cold. I saw his physical form amidst a pool of blood. I hugged him and said I was so sorry baby. He was sorry and sad. I was filled with great remorse. My daughter, his playmate, came to me with her grief and we cried together. The pain was so tremendous and I couldn’t repair his death. I told both my husband and daughter that he had come to me to tell me how he died. And I was trying to demonstrate how swiftly he had fallen but they both kept turning away with my husband walking away. I yelled at them both to pay attention and that if he came to me then he wanted us to know this. That if I knew they had to pay attention and bare the details. Before or after this scenario, I felt his body and it was warm. I had hope that he was really still alive and not dead at all. The medical personnel came and there was a bus around the house. I needed to call people and let them know. As I attempted to call my sister, I accidentally deleted my phone contacts so I couldn’t call them to let them know. If only he had made it to adulthood he would have been able to look after himself. Obviously my remorse for me not being with him to prevent this accident. Tremendous guilt and sorrow. Irl I got a call from his teacher regarding his lack of participation and concentration in class. And I’m helpless after having returned to work and I cannot miss time to meet regarding him. I am distraught over this irl because I was there every day for my son and now I’m not able to be as involved and his progress is suffering. I woke up feeling incredible relief as I realized it was merely a dream. I checked on him and he was sleeping with the blanket over his head so he must have been cold. In dream I thought about how I would miss him greatly. I wanted nothing more than to be with him and for him to be in my life. I wanted to see him grow up. Before I had fallen asleep and I had prayed for my son since I can’t help him when he’s not with me for god to please help him and watch over him and bless him. He’s so beautiful with such an exquisite energy. Thank God he’s alive irl