Targeting my insecurities

Date: 8/4/2017

This ones a long one. I was invited to go to South Korea and perform with 5 other girls (all Korean except me). They were super nice to me. We were a K-pop group. I was super excited and after I got home from practice I was hanging out with my friend who I will call Maze. Maze and me were talking and I asked if she wanted to come with me to Korea and she said no. I asked her why and she said "because you're kind on annoying. You talk WAY too much." I was kind of sitting there in shock that she had told me that considering I have told her (in real life that carried over into the dream) that that's what I do when I'm nervous (I have bad social anxiety) and that's not something I can control. It just happens and I don't realize it until mid-sentence. I had asked her before if she found me annoying (this also carried over into the dream) and she had said no every time. I was completely heartbroken that she had said that and I was angry she lied. I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore and I ran into my room. She ran in after me and said "what I've dealt with it for this long I'm sure I can handle being your friend for longer" and I slammed the door in her face. I remember standing on a bottomless balcony after that. All of a sudden I was at a mall. There was a TV on a pillar and it showed the five girls driving a golf cart to the plane and then boarding. I didn't think my day could have gotten worse until then and obviously once again I was upset. But then suddenly I was on a plane. I had flown there to prove a point I guess. When I got there I asked them why. They said "well you just aren't good enough." And then continued practicing but then the instructor said for me to join them and he would judge and he eventually said that I was just fine so they let me stay. We were about to preform and my friends brother who I will call Ryan stands up and points a knife and me and started calling me names. He runs up to me and starts trying to stab me. Everyone around me was ignoring it or not helping I pushed him back and ran. He followed me into the isle and yelled "I'll f*cking rape you" and continues trying to kill me. I punched him and ran off to get the police. He showed up through the doors but it was literally The Babadook. I told him what happened and he turned around to Ryan and said "thats not nice. Don't make me take that knife away." And Ryan walked off. I was infuriated that he literally did nothing to stop or prevent him from doing it again but I walked off. That's when I woke up and was so tired I thought opening a box of mints would turn off my loud ass alarm clock