Disappointing My Mother... and Things Get Meta 🍬

Date: 6/28/2017

By brookethegreat

I was at a gathering of teachers in a fancy house. It had a sorority vibe. I am not a teacher. My mom is and she was there. The L Word was playing and for some reason it was my fault. I kept trying to turn it off before it got too sexy, so I didn't have to explain myself to my mother, but I couldn't get through the crowd to the tv. Then my mom decided to have everyone sit down and watch it instead of milling about like they were. I sat down and panicked silently. The show did get sexy, but what saved my butt was that before that it turned into 13 Going On 30... a weird R rated version of 13 Going On 30. Anyway, instead of being shocked and scandalized, everyone was like "oh, I forgot about that part. Shame, it's such a good movie otherwise!" I told my dad about it and he had the same reaction. We agreed that it wasn't appropriate for 13 year olds. Which was weird, because it's literally PG13 and I'm pretty sure they gave me the DVD for my 13th birthday irl. AND THEN I was a completely different person - I didn't have a family, I was addicted to shoplifting, I had weird superpowers, and I kinda looked like Jessica Jones. When I ate these little sour straw candies, whatever was next to the other half of the candy I could suck into my mouth like Kirby. I pretty much just used this for shoplifting. I was a menace at this one little convenience store. I loved watching the reactions. I was at a bad place in life. I had just been fired, I was homeless, I had a kid I wasn't allowed to see. My one remaining friend, Kathleen, gave me a great tough love talk and told me to stop stealing stupid stuff from convenience stores, find somewhere crappy to live, and work on rebuilding my life. I was inspired. I found an attic to rent. I had a view of the neighbor's nice little yard. They had these weirdly lifelike orange cat statues that batted at the rain gutter. They said it was for security but that made zero sense. There was a cute little girl that kept staring at me. I made funny faces at her and made her laugh. Then I dreamt about writing it in this app. I only got a few sentences down about the first scene. I wrote something about prostitutes and I can't remember if there actually were prostitutes at the teacher sorority? Maybe there were and I was too distracted by the tv stuff to notice!