admitting everything

Date: 8/25/2016

I walked into a restaurant before getting say I find out my server is Aaron.. God he looked good as usual.. I approached him we said hey like normal as if nothing happened. I of course started ordering drinks off the bat. I started crying at my table and he came over.. I tried to clean up fast.. But he already saw me.. He asked what was wrong. I said listen I know I left things badly with us.. But I need to tell you the truth so at least you'll know I never lied when I said I loved you. You see I found myself falling and caring and that terrified me.. So I told myself I had to detach myself from you before you could hurt me.. And of course in turn.. I hurt you.. I'm so sorry I am such a bad person I got up to leave and in between the two exit doors he stopped me wrapped one arm around my waist and lifted me to his chest..(I'm 5ft tall he's a good 6'2) and kisses me.. The kiss was perfect. Made me lift my leg gave me butterflies. Made me need him.. To this day I still feel as though I made a mistake with him. We had so much in common and I always had fun with him and he ALWAYS made me feel beautiful. I never felt like something was my fault.. Even when it was he tried to make me feel better.. I wish there was some way he could know the truth.. I just didn't ever want to know what it would feel like for him to hurt me.. But I still hurt everyday because of the mistake I made..