Jealousy blinds you

Date: 5/25/2021

So I'm trapped in some hospital. I can't leave and I'm pregnant. I think they're giving me stuff. Stuff in my veins to keep me docile. I try and leave, but it's this large parking lot surrounding the red brick institution. They do allow visitors and I wonder who I can call - do I have anyone willing to come visit and risk springing me? They drag me back into the building, onto a medical gurney and push more white gunk into my veins. ~ There's a tree and a game. I'm courting someone. I'm a girl here.. Then it switches, I'm the love interest. Back and forth. Or maybe at first we're both girls. But I'm climbing the tree, moving fast and obeying the rules at the sound of go. I realize its much easier than I thought. I'm not even in shape. The goal is to put your feet on the ceiling yes? Dude, I had that done in two seconds... When my opponent/love interest was only half way up the tree on the other side... So I won, yes? I look over at him... Now he's a soft she and the genders switch again. She's kissed by a man, an old boyfriend. Just after we're almost there, we're almost together .. And she never mentioned him. Funny thing.. He looks like me... Only he's wearing a comical mustache and beard.. Like in a play. The same actor even plays us both. And we both look like her a lot too, except for gender. I am very jealous as the next day dawns. He's home and people greet him in the local office. I wait for a while, maybe the whole day, but I lurk and come out the shadows when he's alone. Again appearance changes and I'm some dark masculine figure, muscular and tanned. With a real beard/mustache. I tell him I plan on winning. Do that my eye your eye thing with my fingers. And he sees the tops of the wooden lockers where its full of push pins... They used to have something there like maybe string or something but they significant. And they a threat to him, somehow. I think he's more amused than intimidated, but in a slightly nervous intimidated way. There are some people in the room with him later. It's evening in the office and they all having drinks. I show up and shine a light on him, and a few others who note and object. I burn them all with heavens light.. The others in the office are angels. Real angels. Meh, I burn them alive and him too. They weren't pure enough. They all disintegrate in the light of god. And I clean up. I am a nanny, that's my job. Clean up after the kids. Clean up toys. So I do, while my love/opponent is amused and ready to go on a date. She doesn't miss the others. Its just one of those days. I think I managed to impress her finally. She's just tired and I'm cleaning up so we can go. One thing I have to do is make sure the gurney with dead bodies on it isn't scary to the kids who will see it. They gonna have to as I wheel it by them on the way out the door. Everything looks like a toy, but this is one of their toys destroyed.. An angel so good riddance but.. Still children are sensitive. So we're supposed to go out on a date, finally. I'm so looking forward to it. But I'm cleaning so it's postponed an hour. We find a card game, but when I open it it's an actual game, with little pieces and a tech button you push into your little round mat board and it connects online I assume. Or to another playing board. She connects to mine and we begin a game. We play a few rounds and I try and impress her. The game is, ask the cards questions, get the answer and use the answer to figure out your opponent, to 'read' them. But I decided to ask the cards how to win the game. The cards, when answering moved a nearby landscape/vision thing. Each time something subtle changed and it was a beautiful new scene one could easily interpret. Suddenly my card's question changed the scene. It was a lone tree coming out of a sacred animal, in an empty dark parking lot. My companion interpreted it as a huge bad omen. I told her it was because I cheated, but I'm laughing even as I worry. I walk over and get my prize/next piece which gives me more information. It turned out to be a necklace, a black barbed wire necklace. These necklaces were supposed to be able to run through your hand, but mine would rip the skin if I did that. Her necklace was just smooth silver. She pulled her next card, a response to mine. And she pulled a key/pin/nail thing. Interpreting me she said.. It was a pin that held the statue of Jesus in place. There was the vision thing... and an old story about Jesus having a huge statue - 40 feet if not taller- placed into a mountain side and held there with six or so large metal pins. She said... -still interpreting me which was the game you had to get to know your opponent - that I was .... But i interrupted her and said in sudden epiphany I was trying to win, to gain control ... Yes she said. But that I was doing the 'Jesus work'. I felt that we weren't going on that date. I had lost... I wasn't doing enough actual work. But I was also doing exactly the right thing and the right path. But still no date. I felt impatience and a lot if disgust. For me and the whole damn concept...