Fucked up shit

Date: 1/4/2019

Some dreams have a haze to it. The haze will sometimes glow brighter, as the dream reached the final scene everything went the bright gold almost yellow, instead of the darker gold the haze was at first. I was at my grandmas, and was sitting outback with her and my pregnant cuz Ashley. When it was time for me to leave Haley Melvin and her baby daddy took me to a wedding it was time for pictures and it was in the middle of the street by the fire station at Garfield park. The groomsmen, bridesmaid and all the kids was in white and gold outfits for the pics. I was about to head home but not mine the house on Illinois. Haley and thems homeboy was like you can ride with us. I didn’t end going home tho. We was in the car, the scene shifted and I was in bed with dude just waking up. He was fine, lean, dark skin, waves, pearly white straight teeth and a blue hoody that seemed almost bright. We talking, he gots his guns talking bout how he has to put the one in his hand up in his car real quick. He asks me if I was a shooter I said, “Everyone’s a shooter if they have to be. To protect themselves, they family or handle shit in the streets.” He just smiled and said “I’m always a shooter no Choice.” We hooked up after that. Was in a relationship for a while. Scene shift again it’s been some time and something happened. Up until now I’d been first person POV, now I was an outsider watching. He’s pissed and the gang is all in a warehouse. There’s a big bed in the middle of the room and everyone is standing around it holding guns. The men’s girls are all in a tank top and underwear. I was being held by my arms naked. My hair was full of black long almost kinky curls, and I was light skin. He thinks I betrayed him I don’t know if it was an overall betrayal of gang or if he thought i fucked around on him. I was innocent though. “Me” was made to get on all fours, face down to the bed. The girls you could see didn’t want to do what was about to happen but if they didn’t they’d be next and a few was. With their guns they raped me. I couldn’t tell if it was anally or just vaginally. All I know if by the time it was almost done there had been over 10 girls and I could see my entrances from the back and the whole area was tore up, bloody, and gaping. I went back into body and it was when I fell to the ground. Everyone was taking a break and I just laid there. My only thoughts was that I needed to get away to get soap or bleach and just scrub my body clean. I didn’t even want to think about how tore up i was down there. Luckily it wasn’t one of those dreams where I could feel the pain there maybe it was because for that part I was out of body. There was a merge of scene and the warehouse was part of a Walmart with target colors. I ran looking for what I needed. I was naked except for my underwear. I saw some of the men try to get me and I hauled ass. I couldn’t let them get me again I’d rather die. Off to a wall was a spot that had a couple workers stocking shelves two older lady’s a man and a younger woman. I asked for help begging them. My back was to the wall and I was facing towards the whole store when all I heard was “I’ll help you” then it was like my chest seized up not slow but like it worked up to it. I arched back and stood shocked for a moment before shaking. All I could hear was the buzzing hum of electricity. Then I fell out into a rack of clothes. The young girl had put panels on my back and shocked me. I was happy as shit I thought I’d finally died but I started coming to and could hear the old ladies talking like they didn’t want to do this but was going to have to give me to him. The you g girl didn’t want to. I stood back up and ran for the wall that had the paddles and the man stopped me. Once they had there backs turned I grabbed for it turning it up and charging it before turning back around to face the store in time to see him the reason for all this and all I could do was smile as I put it to my chest. The electric hit was stronger this time and it was worse I could feel if through my body. The electric-noise was back and this time a song was echoed through my head “I know that I’ll be meeting you in heaven” sounded oldschool Mariah Carey RnB. My body jolted up and flew back. I just held my arms out to the side and felt myself slipping away. The last thing I saw was his look of almost horror and I couldn’t be happier. ——— This was by far one of the most horrible dreams I’ve had. While it had its haze and i couldn’t feel certain pains it was all so real. I really thought my ass was back in Indiana. It was t one of those dreams where your just like “Ookk i need to wake my ass up while everything happens” it was one of the ones where you live through everything and by the time you wake up and start recalling only some things fall out of memory. First and hopefully only time I’ll dream of my rape.