The Misadventures of a Furry-Mouthed, Piss-Stained Trousers-Wearing Stoner.

Date: 9/26/2019

By amandalyle

I was supposed to be meeting my friend, Ash, in town but I had forgotten that I was also meant to be seeing my mum and also my friend Nick. I was gathering my things at home when the doorbell rings and it was my friend Kylie. “I’ve come to visit!” She said. My heart sank a little. How was I suppose to see everyone at the same time and who did I let down?! Kylie’s daughter Ava was with her and also her friend Amy. It looked like Amy had bleached Ava’s hair because it was straw-like like her own. It looked bloody awful. “What have you done to Ava’s hair?” I asked. “Don’t even ask.” Kylie replied. “I don’t like it!” I said bluntly. “Well, I love it!” Amy chimed in. Time was ticking, so I gathered the boys shoes and said my goodbyes. My mum had ordered a taxi for us to ride in but there were two taxi drivers, one old guy and one I knew in real life, both sat in the driving seat. This didn’t seem odd to me so I just went along with it, making small talk with them both. I strapped my son in and off we went. The taxi stopped in the middle of town and I spotted my friend Nick who was waiting on a stack of mattresses. He dived straight in for a hug and it seemed like he wanted a bit more. I kept looking around to see if my friend Ash had made an appearance but she must have been running late. Nick tried to kiss me, but I could feel fur on the inside of my cheeks and so I made my excuses and left. I then saw my mum and she called me over to this ‘party’ bus. I felt bad, because Ash was a couple of minutes away and I needed to come up with an excuse. I climbed onto this bus of drunken, rowdy students. Some of them I recognised from my school days. On the bus, we started drinking and getting high. I then got dropped off at the hospital for work (still drunk and high) to see one of my service users (Jeremy) By this point, I was wearing salmon coloured suit trousers and I had accidentally wet myself and was trying to cover it up. Unfortunately the light coloured fabric was unforgiving and Jeremy pointed it out straight away. I tried to dab at it with a towel but it wasn’t working so I ask the party girls if they had anything I could borrow. One of them brought over some size 8 ‘very vibrant/wacky’ Lycra joggers. “They are too big!” I groaned, “I’ll stick to my pissy salmon suit trousers, thanks” I muttered. The girl seemed offended and walked off. We were then given the challenge of making clothes out of ribbon as part of a game. I had been paired up with this girl from some trashy tv I watch. She had all these amazing ideas, but my mind was shooting blanks.