Marrying my ex

Date: 6/30/2020

Had a dream I was getting married to my ex. My mom planned the wedding. I was nervous and a little upset with her. I hadn’t talked to him since we broke up. Now we’re getting married? I was wearing my wedding dress in my front yard, but I wasn’t “done up” yet. I had bare feet and no makeup. People had begun to show up. My friends and family. His friends and family. I saw him milling about so I approached him. “Hey,” I said awkwardly. “Hey.” He looked nice in a dark suit, his dark curly hair long, just how I like. We got to talking and before long we were right as rain. We spent the rest of the pre-wedding party inseparable, engrossed in each other. As we walked around the venue, we saw friends I haven’t talked to in ages. I was so happy they showed up and greeted them with warmth. I remember feeling so happy and loved. I was also worried about Covid, with everybody so close together, then I decided it did not exist in my dream. At one point he and I came across his family, his mother and sisters sitting on the grass in my front lawn. I said hi, they kind of ignored me. So I kept talking. They didn’t trust me. They were upset he was marrying me. “I’ve changed,” I told them. “Never again.” I truly believed it. I would never betray him like I had. I would never hurt him like that again. They came around, a little. Perhaps hearing the sincerity in my voice and seeing the way I looked at him. The way we looked at each other. I had to finish getting ready, so I went to find my makeup. Some weird dream shenanigans happened here. One friend decided she would help me find a shaping dress to wear under my wedding dress. “So your curves really pop,” she reasoned. We walked through the store looking for one. We accidentally ended up in an airport and the front desk lady yelled at us when we tried to leave, ranting about security and her quotas. I think we found the shaping dress, then somebody told me the wedding was starting soon. I swore, “Shit, I haven’t done my makeup,” even though I’d had hours to do so. We had to climb up moss-covered rocks to get to the room with my makeup. I decided I would get my bag, put on some mascara quick, and do some bronzer on the go. It was difficult to climb the rocks. My friend Sofia and her brother helped me. I finally got my makeup bag. I thanked them and we headed towards the aisle. I was nervous, but only to be the center of attention. I was excited to marry this guy, this love of mine. I knew he was the one. We would make it work. I wanted to be with him. I woke up suddenly before I walked down the aisle. I was not able to get back into the dream even though I tried. I miss him. I want to talk to him but I don’t know how. I don’t know if I should. I hope he’s doing well. BONUS DREAM: 1/12/18 I had a dream that I married Jacob. I was so happy. I was showing him off to all the guests (mostly classmates from high school). I had just turned 21, so we could drink at the bar. It was raining but warm. I wore a dark raincoat over my wedding dress. I was still in school, and had an assignment due the next day. I was so happy!