Can I have liver with my fries?

Date: 10/29/2016

When I walked into Mcdonolds, I spotted a tv screen playing an episode of Jeremy Kyle. Only this episode was quite different from the usual "who's the daddy DNA results" There was this vulgar naked woman who looked like a sunken fat blob with a large hole in her chest. (A hole she had sliced open herself, may I add) it kept pulsating every time she breathed and made this repulsive whistling sound. To the audience's horror, she kept reaching inside her body (via this hole) and dragging out her organs, taking a look at each one, and saying, "I'm not sure which is the right one?" Jeremy Kyle was alarmed and told her to stop what she was doing and put her organs back into her body. I remember feeling nauseous and unable to finish off the rest of my Mcdonolds...but I couldn't help but feel sorry for this woman, who had quite clearly lost her mind. The episode then got exchanged for a music video by Yazoo's "The only way is up!" As I listened to the 80's classic, I experienced this feeling of euphoria and had to fight the urge not to get up and dance....right there...in the middle of Mcdonolds. Next scene; My mum came over and started fussing around my house and then talking to my neighbour through the garden fence. I remember thinking "I need to be alone! This is too much!" Next scene; Kylie and I were at bar (it was her birthday) before long, we realised that we were being chatted up by lesbian "Do you girls want to come upstairs and watch a band?" She winked. We agreed, but decided we'd leg it last minute. We then saw a shrine of Dot Cotton on the wall in the bar and we started laughing hysterically. As I exited the bar I kept getting my finger caught in everything, first the door (but there was no pain) and then my phone (how I managed to do that I do not know?) Amy was laughing along (who just seemed to appear out of nowhere) she then went back to her car and we thought she was going to give Kylie a present, but instead she came back wearing these ridiculous sky high heels with a pair of joggers... I remember thinking "Each to their own!" And feeling like a midget stood next to her. I was lying on the bed with Kylie. Unaware, she had shaken a "Panda Pop" 🐼 bottle of fizzy and, whilst I wasn't looking, put it inside my vagina. I was oblivious until I experienced an earth shattering orgasm and then I asked, embarrassed "Where did that come from?" She then removed the fizz and said "Oops! Sorry about that!" On the way back home, I walked past a person I recognised. It was Lee Wilton (from high school) He was crying and cold from standing in the rain. "You can stay at my house!" I suggested, thinking that I was doing a good deed. But just as I got him home, my (ex husband) Mat came through the door, realising there was another man in the house and I could see the anger flash across his face. He became psychotic and one by one started burning the children's toys. "I want the babies to burn!" He said, looking at me with crazy eyes. "But he's gay, Mat! And no offence, but look at him!" I pleaded. "No offence taken" Lee said, as put his clothes back on... "Wait a minute"? I thought. Why does this look so bad when it wasn't bad at all - it just seemed like the right thing to do! I'll never help people in need again!" I yelled. "I want you to fight for me, Amanda! I wanted to see you put up a fight!" Mat shouted. I knew this was a battle I wasn't going to win. Next scene, as I walked home from town, I got into an argument with an old lady because she thought I was going to push my pram into the road too early. I assured her that I wasn't and told her to mind her own business. I could then hear her whispering to her husband about how she thought I was an unfit mum. "That bitch is slagging me off!" I angrily explained to my mum, as they hobbled on in front of us. When I got back to my street, I realised the old couple lived two doors down. Oops! When I got back home, people were in my house looking around it. I couldn't understand what was happening. Is my house up for sale and I didn't know thing about it? I was growing more and more distressed and taking it out on the people who were looking around the house. "I wish they'd just piss off and leave me alone! I need to be alone!" I sobbed. Next scene; I was in a basement room with Man bun and Alex Thorne. Alex and I were on the sofa, while man bun sat across the other side of the room with not ONE man bun but TWO. "He looks ridiculous!" I thought to myself. Alex asked me what I had planned for New Years, but when I started speaking man bun talked over me. Feeling agitated, I shouted "I'm having a 90's party, you can come if you like, Alex?" "I think I'll pass!" He responded. I felt a twang of sadness brewing inside. "I'll be in Hakakashakalaka!" Man bun butted in, handing me over a business card and a map. "Come watch my show!" ... I remember thinking "Thanks, but no thanks! Ain't nothing going to stop me partying 90's style!" Next scene; I was invited to a rich and famous fashion designer's house - there was an ongoing party happening and we'd all rented smaller houses around the large mansion. It was a child-friendly party and all the kids ran off to play together. While they were gone, I went to explore. As I stepped down these contemporary looking stairs, I saw a guy in his bed (it was my man crush - Julius from Made in Chelsea) he had his shirt off and he was looking really HOT. "He wouldn't be interested in me!" I thought to myself. But then he called over to me and told me to come snuggle with him. "That guy likes you!" He said. "What guy?" I questioned. Then he pointed to a man glaring at us from the corner of the room. He looked normal until he turned face-on and then I saw that he had a lazy eye pointing in a completely different direction. He started to make small talk with me, but my attentions were elsewhere - the hunky Julius. Who had, by this point, pulled my hand onto his throbbing hard cock which was so thick I couldn't wrap my cupped hands around it. It was also hot and moist. I wanted it, but guilt began to wash over me "He only wants you for sex, Amanda!" My subconscious whispered. I was hungry for him. We started to kiss each other and I was getting really horny and wet, but just as his cock was about to go in, I got up quickly and said "I don't think we should do this... yet!" ... and then I saw his beautiful naked body on the bed and thought "Fuck it! What's the harm?!"