Reoccurring Dream

Date: 10/22/2018

I realized this morning that I’ve been having a reoccurring dream. I think it might start differently every time but it always ends the same. Last night I dreamt I was in a restaurant with my parents. I remember the floor had lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, and things like that all over it. There were also knife displays and I remember thinking that I needed to find a place that sold knives and didn’t card. It was like I was thinking of a smoke shop but with knives. Next thing is I was barefoot and tiptoeing around all the shit on the floor. I made my way to my parents. For some reason I was really sad to the point where I can say I felt suicidal. As soon as I found my parents I felt like taking a walk outside. This is where the dream reoccurs. I got out of the restaurant and started walking in a random direction with no destination in mind. I look down and see the ground is made up of a bunch of small pebbles that look like black volcanic rock that’s been broken down. As I continue walking I keep falling onto the pebbles and they rub off on me and make my skin have a black smut substance to it. I keep falling and getting more dirty. The whole time I’m really sad/depressed. I finally fall down one last time and don’t get up. This is where my mom comes out and sees me. She picks me up and asks what’s wrong. For some reason she feels like my savior. The thought that went through my mind was she raised me from the depths of hell. I start crying cause of this feeling and because I’ve consciously been suppressing my emotions throughout the entire dream. Idk what this means though because I’m honestly not that sad right now in real life.