Lady in Red (Primark is Dead)

Date: 5/28/2020

For some unknown reason, I was chopping up a cucumber on the top of a car with a bread knife(?!) As I was mid chop, this guy I know (Lee) came strolling over with his new (and really stunning but ridiculously way too young for him) girlfriend. She wasn’t very friendly, but Lee and I chatted for a short while. I made a joke about cutting up a courgette on the car (even though it was clearly a cucumber!) and he laughed awkwardly. The boys appeared out of nowhere and started play fighting and being really loud and boisterous. “I’d better get on” I said, packing up my chopped cucumber and ushering the boys into the car. Next scene; I was watching this really intense psychological thriller series with my husband. Something about a serial killer on the loose. We had just got to the ending and the big ‘Whodunnit?’ reveal. I was on the edge of my seat. A limousine had pulled up to some grand event and out rolled a red carpet. The door swung open and DUN DUN DUN... This frail and extremely anorexic woman, so thin she could barely walk, climbed out and hobbled down the red carpet. The serial killer. “Are you watching this?” I asked in disbelief, turning to my husband. He was staring blankly at the wall, not even watching the hugely disappointing reveal. “Aren’t you watching the ending?” I asked, despairingly. “Sorry Mand, I zoned out for a moment.” He replied. Next scene; I was reading the news on my iPhone and, to my absolute horror, read that Primark was no more. It had gone completely bust and had closed all its stores. I was gutted. “Where am I going to buy my under garments now?!” I pondered. Next scene; I was sporting this new and very bright red hairdo. Surprisingly, I pulled it off well. I woke up wondering if I should take the plunge and dye my hair red... and then decided that was a terrible idea.