The One Where I Won’t Do the Cupid Shuffle

Date: 4/27/2025

I’m in a large, crowded room that resembles the atrium at Park Vista when everyone starts doing the Cupid Shuffle. I see a couple friends of mine — a guy and a girl — and dramatically say something about how “I don’t want to do the Cupid Shuffle” in a whiny voice. The guy — who, at some point, turns into David Krumholtz (Bernard from The Santa Clause) — starts teasing me about how I don’t dance. I see a bug in the ground and suddenly worry that it’s a roach. David starts making fun of me for my roach phobia and I say, “Oh yeah? Well you’re afraid to wrap two Christmas gifts!” (somehow, this makes sense to me). I drag him over to talk to Jordyn and a girl who’s apparently supposed to be her friend and say, “What do you think is worse — being afraid of roaches or being afraid of wrapping Christmas gifts? One is fine, but two is too many!” When David and I walk away from them, I wonder if I seemed like a weirdo.