Missed performance

Date: 12/8/2020

I was back in Romeo and Juliet, a Zoom play I did this spring. This time, there was an in-person performance, but anyone who wasn’t comfortable with that could still Zoom in. I was absolutely thrilled to do in-person theater again, but when I entered the location of the theater into google maps, it told me it was 90 minutes away, and the performance was in half an hour, so I had to zoom. There was only one other person zooming, and I was crushed that I couldn’t come in person. After the play, they had us zoom into the cast party. The entire cast except for me and the one other guy who was zooming were at a restaurant, chatting with each other and having fun. I broke down crying and left the meeting. I was mad not only that I had missed the play, but that it was all my fault and there wasn’t anyone else I could blame. Rainier (the director) emailed me and said she was sorry I couldn’t come. She said something along the lines of, “you’re still struggling with the issues we discussed in rehearsal, but I think the play would have been better if you had been there.” This made me feel even worse. My mom came home and asked me how I was doing. I started to tell her and she interrupted me (as she often does). I told her I’d like to tell this story without being interrupted, and she agreed to try not to talk until I was done. I started to tell the story again, but I was speaking incredibly loudly and quickly so she wouldn’t be able to interrupt me again, which only made me more emotional. Suddenly I was in a big group of people standing in my backyard. There was snow on the ground, and we were looking down the hill to my neighbor’s shed. A lady who I didn’t recognize was talking about how she planned to tear it down. For some reason I really didn’t want her to do this. Then we were all standing in said neighbor’s driveway. Instead of being in the backyard, the shed was on the thin spit of grass between their driveway and the driveway next door. My neighbor said he’d need to move the tools out of the lady wanted to tear it down.