Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 10/12/2025
By zeitfaster
I just remembered this very faintly, that I was standing in front of this old girl who I used to work with. She looked quite dazzling in a blue/turquoise bikini, facing the sun. She is very tall, in real life as well as in the dream, like 6'4". She's taller than I am, I'm only a bit over 6'0". She has a very well formed body, taller people often have great proportioned physiques. She's got a big head, but she is very pretty, and she has a big golden brown hedge of curled hair. I feel bad for this girl because I led her on. I did like her and enjoyed her company. She was really funny and we always had good banter. A mistake I've made multiple times is thinking there won't be consequences to being charming and friendly with a girl without necessarily having intentions of pursuing anything. But is it a crime to just enjoy someone's company and share your own? Why does this bring with it obligations? But it does, if you do this and there are feelings, at least one person will have feelings that will linger until some kind of resolution. I liked her, I found her likeable and beautiful, but ultimately decided that I didn't want to take on whatever challenges or baggage she might be carrying along with her, that would be entailed in a relationship. I chose my better judgement over pursuing fun. No one was ever outright rejected, I just cooled off but tried to stay friendly, because that's technically all we ever were. I've made this mistake, or had this problem, several times at workplaces. I like to be friendly with everyone, I do enjoy the platonic company of these women, but always I've decided against pursuing more with them because it just doesn't seem worth it to me. I respect them as people, and I wish them the best. But I end up making them suffer because there is some chemistry and then I just end up not taking it further, and I don't explain myself because I don't feel like I strictly have to, all I ever did was just be pleasant and friendly. I want to be pleasant and friendly with the people in my job. But I know they suffer, so I kind of am leading them on I guess? Which is regrettable! The last thing I want to do is make people suffer. But I'm not obligated to go out with anyone if I don't want to. I would love to hear advice from women on how to act more skillfully. Anyway, on to the dream. She's standing there, she looks great as she always did. In real life, I learned recently from social media that she finally has a boyfriend, which I'm truly really glad to hear. Im not sure if I recall correctly, but I think she was trying to make me jealous or throw the boyfriend in my face, like look at me now. And I can't quite recall how I reacted, but I think I told her that I'm happy for her, and I was just neutral. Just my real position on the matter. I'm sorry for that mental pain I unwittingly caused, I am sorry that she would even be in a place if wanting to try to "get me back" by showing her new boyfriend. I liked her, I still do like her as a person, I think she's beautiful, but there were just other things about her that made me not want to get involved. I truly do not care that she has a boyfriend, rather I'm happy that she has that, because I know she was trying to find one for a long time. And I'm glad some other guy out there will take on the delights and challenges of being with her, as I decided that I could not. My question is- I'm sort of dealing with this same thing but at my new work. I'm in the midst of a coworker whom I treated as a friend now liking me, and I don't really want anything with her. I like her some, but I don't want to get involved with her. No one's asked any one out, but she is still hurting like she is being rejected. Ladies, how do you let a girl down easy in this situation, considering I didn't really ask out or reject her? I've never flirted really either. I'm not cruelly like leading her on, and I have a right to not want or have to be with anyone if I don't want to. I've acted friendly because I believe in having a good time and relationship with coworkers. What else am I supposed to do, be quiet and reserved just so she doesn't think that maybe we could be in a relationship? How do I fix this, just lie say I'm gay or in a relationship? That doesn't feel right either, or like it'll work. She'll resent being obviously lied to. I also don't want to really tell her straight up I don't want her. What's a skillful way of doing this that spares her feelings?