And with One Final Thrust, I Die...

Date: 9/25/2024

I was with my ex, Barry ( the one who has been dead quite a few years now, yet I dream about him often ). We had been out, running errands or something. I remember being in the parking lot of a plaza with a lot of stores. I had been looking at shoes with a few friends of mine, but I couldn't afford to buy any. I got back into the car with Barry to leave. He pulled out of the parking spot and was driving like an idiot. He kept grabbing me and putting my hands on the steering wheel. The parking lot was large, and was full of people. They were looking at us, probably in fear of being run over. Barry was swerving, and at times almost going on to the sidewalk areas. He just laughed as I yelled at him and became more angry. He was acting like he was drunk. Actually, he was acting like my boyfriend Al ( whose real name is Jack, but i nicknamed him Al. Al Coholic. Alcoholic. ) We made it home in one piece somehow. The house we had was nice, the living area we walked into had lamps/lights hanging all over from the ceiling. Though they were hanging lower than I thought was practical, it still looked really nice. Aside from the house being messy, it was a very nice house. Barry and I were fighting. Apparently, about anything and everything. I was upset about not being able to afford new shoes (never being too afford *anything*)! And he was upset about the messy house. "GET A JOB AND I'LL CLEAN THE HOUSE!", I yelled. He came back at me with "JUST LIKE YOU SAID "GET ME A KITCHEN AND I'LL COOK FOR YOU?! YOU DON'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE KITCHEN!" gesturing to the next room over in full view of us. I threw up my hands in exasperation. As I did so, I accidentally hit one of the lights. It came down, on to the wooden table below it. It rolled across the table, and rolled down on to the floor. I quickly picked it up. Somehow it hadn't broken. "I NEED ELECTRICITY AND RUNNING WATER TO BOTH COOK FOR YOU *AND* CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! BUT YOU REFUSE TO GET A JOB!", I screamed as I passionately threw the long rectangular light in my hands to the ground. Instead of breaking, it bounced once and then settled on the floor. He was furious that I had thrown the lamp down. "WHY DON'T *YOU* GET A JOB??!" He screamed as he and I both inched into the hallway between the living room and the kitchen. "BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME RUN AROUND EVERYWHERE WITH YOU! HOW CAN I WORK WHEN YOU'RE INCAPABLE OF BEING ALONE FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME?! YOU MAKE MY GO *EVERYWHERE* WITH YOU, EVEN IF YOU'RE JUST GOING UP THE STREET! IM SICK AND TIRED OF HOLDING YOUR HAND EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO GO GET GAS, OR TO GO SIT FOR 5 HOURS IN THE CAR!" At this point, he grabbed me, roughly turned me around, then pushed me over the back of the couch ( we were standing against the back of the couch due to how the house was set up and decorated. He turned me to face the back of the couch, then pushed me so my stomach was against the top of the couch and I was hanging over onto the front of the couch now... if that makes sense... ) he was groping me all over. As he kept pushing against me, I could feel his keys and small knife against my rear and sides. The knife hurt a bit. Then he felt something in my pocket. "What is this??!" "It's the dollar you handed me in the car earlier". He pulled it out. It was more than one dollar. He counted it. $8. I don't remember having $8. I only remember the $1. It's of course not much, but regardless, he thinks I lied to him. In his drunken fury, he grabbed the little knife from his Keychain on his belt loop. The light reflected off the silver blade. He pushed it into the side of my back. I couldn't believe how painful something so small could be! He pulled it out. I thought he was done. I couldn't believe he'd want to actually try to *kill* me. But instead of stopping, he instead thrust it into me again. And then again. And again and again and again. He just kept going. I arched my back and squeezed my eyes shut each time the small blade was thrust into me. I could *feel* the intense pain, even though it was a dream. I eventually stopped arching my back so intensely and instead hung more and more forward. Blood was pouring out of me, warm on my back and my legs as everything else became cold. As I woke up, my head was almost laying upon the front of the couch, my eyes now wide open as life left them...

AI generated interpretation This dream seems to reflect a deep sense of unresolved pain and trauma related to your past relationship with Barry. The fact that he is deceased in real life but still appears frequently in your dreams suggests that there may be unresolved feelings or issues that continue to linger in your psyche. In the dream, Barry's behavior is erratic and aggressive, reflecting a sense of chaos and instability in the relationship. The conflicts and arguments that occur between you two may symbolize the unresolved emotional issues that are still present within you. The mention of not being able to afford new shoes and feeling frustrated about financial constraints could symbolize feelings of lack, insecurity, or unfulfilled desires in your waking life. The violent and abusive actions towards you in the dream, such as the physical aggression and the stabbing, could represent feelings of powerlessness, vulnerability, and betrayal that you may have experienced in the past. The repetition of the stabbing may indicate a sense of being repeatedly hurt or traumatized emotionally. The imagery of blood and feeling intense pain in the dream may symbolize deep emotional wounds that have not fully healed. The final image of you laying on the couch, eyes wide open as life leaves them, could represent a sense of finality, closure, or perhaps a desire to let go of these painful memories and emotions. Overall, this dream appears to be a manifestation of unresolved emotional trauma and pain from past experiences that may still be affecting you on a subconscious level. It may be helpful to explore these feelings further through therapy or self-reflection in order to process and heal from these past wounds.