The One With Dick Van Dyke’s Sprinkles

Date: 6/13/2025

I walk into what’s supposed to be the Bowmans’ house and see Kailee there with her new boyfriend — a short, skinny black guy who looks like Dean Thomas from Harry Potter. I remember that she apparently cheated on Kyle with this guy, but that the three of them are still living together for some reason. Kyle comes down the stairs looking unhappy and I see that he’s super lean. I’m shocked by this and open my mouth to tell him he looks good, but then realize this would be a weird time for that. I end up in a fancy but dimly lit hotel room telling the girls I’m here with how odd it all was. I end up at the front desk with the twins where two snooty ladies tell me I can give them ice cream in weird bamboo bowls they provide, but that we can’t make a mess. At some point, Dick Van Dyke shows up in a wheelchair and starts talking to the babies. They’re mesmerized by him as he asks what their names are and then says, “Oh, Elliott and Audrey.” I remember that they have name tags on. I look at Dick Van Dyke and see that he’s covered in rainbow sprinkles. He’s getting them all over the place and I suddenly find myself very depressed as I contemplate my own old age. I have to tell myself that everything is okay.