A Kidnapping, A Modelling Session and a Tacky Wedding

Date: 6/7/2017

By amandalyle

My co-writer was secretly living in my attic. I'd ask my husband to cook extra portions, so I could scrape them onto a separate plate and take them up to him. He didn't like living in my attic, but it was the way it had to be. Next scene; I was at a social event and I had set up two friends on a blind date. Awkwardly, they turned out to already know each other. Regardless of this fact, I kept looking over to see how it was going and my friend kept giving me the thumbs up. He then snuck into the kitchen and kept trying to hit on me. I was disappointed. This was not how I planned things. I then realised that my hair was now purple and blue. It seemed to the trend because everyone else was sporting a similar look. My lips were also massive. Like they had been stung by a hundred bees, and I'm pretty sure I had breast implants too. A scout from a modelling agency came up and asked me if they could take my picture. I was reluctant at first - totally playing the 'shy' card, but after a few seconds, I was getting really into it. I was spinning around and striking a pose. She was photographing me in a pretty meadow, and I was looking forward to seeing how the photos turned out. When she showed me the pictures, I was horrified to see how awful my eyebrows looked. They were really thin - like they had been drawn on with a fine line pencil. Furthermore, they trailed off way too far at the ends and were half way down the side of my face. I felt really disappointed, but the agent seemed to love them. We were then asked to come inside. We were now in a hospital. I remember seeing my friend, Ash, sat on a bench chain-smoking roll-ups. I was a bit taken back, because she's never smoked in her entire life. There was this gender-fluid person who was walking down the corridor. I soon realised that they were talking to them self; not the usual self-chat, a conversation that was reciprocated in two different tones of voice. It was pretty freaky, but I remember thinking; "I'll use this in my novel!" Next scene; I was at a wedding. It was a bit of a shambles. Kylie and I spent the entire afternoon giggling at the tackiness of it all. Everything about this wedding was awful - including the guests. The DJ was pretty hideous too. She was sporting the same blue and purple hair that seemed to be all the rage. Some people on the table behind us kept talking about posh cars, and before I woke up, I found myself doing a posh car quiz. One of those where you have to match up the answer with a line. I got most of them wrong.