Diet Coke

Date: 12/22/2024

Meg told me that I really hurt her feelings last night by making fun of her weight. I had no idea what she was talking about, I couldn't even remember last night. She said some stuff I can't remember now after everything, and slowly things started to come back to me. I'd been hanging out with I think Blix and other drag performers. I guessed I must have been wasted, but I only assumed that cuz I was having a hard time remembering even tho I don't drink. I was really trying to remember the name of this performer chick who we'd can hanging out with. Apparently I'd also sent Meg some blacked out voicemail or Marco Polo or something. I was like that's weird we don't have that kind of friendliness anymore, but I just wanted to get to the bottom of this situation now. I managed to come up with one or two memories/explanations for what had really been going on that wasn't what Meg thought, I think one of which was that the video she saw was one i just recorded in general, not specifically for her. I was still trying to remember the name of this girl, then it dawned on me and I was like "ohhhhhhhhh! Her name was Diet Coke!" She looked astonished, then relieved, then laughed. I also felt relieved that she didn't feel hurt anymore or like I had been trying to hurt her. But then in my head I was like well I should probably say goodbye, I felt like this whole thing was already way too familiar, like why had I even sent her that video? And was I co-dependently trying to take care of her feelings now? And why was I even with her right now, where was Blix? I went and wandered through this darkened and labyrinthian series of short hallways, corners, cramped kitchens and bathtubs, backdoors that would lead out into the night, and backstage passages slash half-finished sets, just general weird unpeopled liminal spaces. Classic dream. I finally found Blix and decided not to bring up the drama with Meg even tho I thought it was very interesting and entertaining. Then Blix started expressing that she felt betrayed by how I'd been acting last night with Diet Coke. Again I had no idea what she was talking about but felt confident that must not have been the case, that she must have misunderstood my words or actions or intentions or whatnot. I again began to start thinking and trying to remember what had happened or how I'd been feeling so I could explain. I really wanted to tell her about the whole exchange with Meg earlier, I had the impression that there were a lot of parallels and that it might even help me explain myself now, but I was worried that talking about all that might hurt Blix's feelings even more, so I instead kept trying to figure out what else to say. Whatever I was coming up with was insufficient. Blix was very hurt and started walking away and trying to be alone. I tried to follow her, still trying futilely to insist that I had only been interacting with Diet Coke in friendly platonic ways, but I just couldn't remember enough. I followed her through those darkened corridors, around corner after corner, eventually pleading with her to just trust me or something along those lines. Eventually I lost track of her. Then I was talking with CJ. I was kinda following them through these dark liminal spaces now, but the vibe had become less desperate and frantic, we were more just chillin. But I was still very distressed about everything that had just happened. I can't remember if I told CJ about it all, or maybe they'd heard about it through the grapevine by now, and eventually their tone and vibe got more critical, then harsh. I was of course trying to just listen and take in their thoughts and feelings, but my own feelings started to get hurt by how I felt like they were mad at me. My heart began to sink. Everyone was upset with me, how had I managed to hurt everyone so much? CJ continued to berate me, they'd disappeared and their voice was now coming out of a speaker in the ceiling that looked like a smoke detector. I was on my back staring up at it, my face melting into a hurt and dissociating expression I could only assume. The only thing I can somewhat remember of the actual content of their words was something like "we all know what Jordan's problem is, right? [a bunch of strange fancy words that i think must have been vaguely inspired by the expression "White Anglo-Saxon Protestant" and that I interpreted as basically "selfish ignorant rich kid"]. Nothing about Diet Coke this time. Somehow that scene eventually led to me wandering the dark spaces again, gradually low-key running, alone for real now, trying to scream "CJ!!!" but not being able to muster any power in my voice, also classic dream. I finally realized that myself, "omg this must be a dream!", then I beckoned whoever I was with to come fly and we flew up the slope behind the OSG into a random rich person house where there were two old people on recliners in front of the TV. I was like "let's [do something to mess with them or something]" and then I woke up lol.

AI generated interpretation This dream contains several recurring elements and themes that may shed light on the underlying emotions and conflicts you are currently grappling with. The central theme of communication breakdown and misunderstanding is evident throughout the dream. The confusion and disorientation you experience in trying to recall past events with Meg and Blix symbolize a sense of detachment and uncertainty in your waking life relationships. The inability to remember key details mirrors a fear of not being able to fully understand or connect with those around you. This may reflect a sense of detachment or alienation you feel in your social interactions, possibly due to feelings of inadequacy or a fear of not being able to meet others' expectations. The presence of alcohol and drag performers in your dream may symbolize aspects of self-expression, identity, and social dynamics. The blurred memories and actions under the influence of alcohol suggest a desire to escape or numb certain emotions or situations in your waking life. The drag performers and the character of Diet Coke could represent facets of your own identity or personas that you are exploring or struggling to understand. The labyrinthine and unpeopled spaces you navigate in the dream reflect a sense of confusion, isolation, and liminality. The darkened hallways and cramped kitchens may symbolize feelings of being lost or trapped in a complex or challenging situation. The unfinished sets and backstage passages could represent hidden aspects of your subconscious or unresolved issues that you are reluctant to confront. The confrontations and accusations from Meg, Blix, and CJ in the dream highlight feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and a fear of being misunderstood or judged by others. The escalating tensions and conflicts with these characters may point to unresolved conflicts or unexpressed emotions in your waking life relationships. The sense of being criticized and berated by others may reflect a fear of rejection or disapproval from those around you. The revelation that the dream is a lucid dream towards the end suggests a need for self-awareness and introspection. The confusion and sense of powerlessness you experience in the dream may point to a need to confront and understand your own subconscious thoughts and emotions. The act of flying and escaping the dream environment could symbolize a desire to break free from limitations or constraints in your waking life and to gain a sense of empowerment and control over your circumstances. Overall, this dream appears to be a reflection of your inner turmoil, conflicts, and fears surrounding communication, relationships, and self-identity. It may be beneficial to explore these themes further in your waking life, perhaps through journaling, therapy, or open communication with those involved in the dream. By addressing these underlying emotions and conflicts, you may gain clarity and insight into your own thoughts, feelings, and interactions with others.