A Near Death Collision, A Secret Stash of Prosecco and Other People’s Shit

Date: 9/1/2019

I was in the car with my mum. She was driving down this long, twisty country lane when, suddenly, a crazy car driver was driving straight in front of us, on the wrong side of the road. “Watch out!” I yelled, as my mum swerved onto the opposite side of the road to avoid him. We then approached a very grand building - some kind of fancy private school for a very poshe outdoors dinner. We were seated at a table with some random strangers and my mum kept topping my glass up with bottles of Prosecco she kept stashed under the table. “Well, we can’t afford these prices!” She said. “Drink up!” I started knocking back some glasses. I then got bored and had a wander over to this big building that was selling various bits and bobs. I looked in my purse to see that I only had two 20 dollar bills. “But I’m not American!” I thought. “Not to worry!” My mum said. “I have some change!” When we entered, the rooms were pretty much empty and there was hardly anything to purchase other than other people’s random belongings ...including an electric tooth brush with a picture of Jodie Cunningham on it. “No thanks!” I thought, and I swiftly moved on. Next Scene; I was watching the news on TV. Someone from Geordie Shore had been announced dead. “Please don’t let it be Nathan!” I said, over and over, rocking back and forth. I never found out who it was in the end, as the news flicked to the next headline. Next Scene; My ex boyfriend came over and was being really friendly and nice. Yup. That would never happen. 😳