The One Where I’m “So Pregnant”

Date: 3/23/2025

I’m in a room with One Direction. There’s fast food everywhere — piles of cheeseburgers and fries — and I watch as Harry Styles starts eating … I’m in a large, dimly lit room dipping a pregnancy test in what’s presumably a cup of my urine. I repeat this with a second stick. I quickly say a prayer as I anticipate what a positive result would mean. As the control line starts to form, I call Brody over because we just discussed (in real life) that he wants to be there next time I take a pregnancy test. He comes over and watches the lines appear — for some reason, on a piece of paper — and doesn’t seem to realize that they both look positive as he says something suggesting that I’m not pregnant, to which I respond, “Oh, I’m so pregnant!” and then explain what the lines mean.