I was drinking champagne (well, Prosecco!) with my friends Kylie and Alex when suddenly we all fancied some lemonade instead. So off we went to this weird, futuristic, shop and tried locating this lemonade we so desperately fancied. There were so many different variations of lemonade, but they were all too small. Sadly, we left without any. Next scene; I was in Topshop looking at some dresses in the Sale. I picked up what 'was' a nice dress but, by the time I got to the till, it was hideous. It looked like a dominatrix dress. Embarrassed, I threw it on the floor and legged in for the door.! Next scene; I was giving Mat a handjob but my daughter kept walking in and I had to hold the blanket over his erection so she assumed that we were 'just' watching a film. American Pie was on, but Zac Efron was playing Stiffler and as he strutted across the beach, I saw that he had a micro penis that resembled that of a 'little' button-mushroom. "Poor little guy!" I said.