Lucid Masturbation 💦

Date: 9/12/2019

I was hanging out with Nev and his now ‘ex’ wife (in my dream they were divorced and hated each other) and we were doing the hokey cokey whilst trying to keep a big inflatable ball in the air...which, as you you can imagine, was quite hard. Nev and his wife kept falling out and I was feeling a bit awkward. We then had to not only keep a ball in the air, but play frisbee too (all whilst doing the Hokey Cokey) but the freebee got stuck in a tall tree. Being a short arse, I went to fetch a chair to get it down... but before I had chance, Nev’s (ex) wife had fetched it down... because she was really tall (bitch!) We then had a timeout and we were all sitting on a wall, chatting and Nev looked at his ex in disgust and said “oh, I see that you’re still growing your leg hair out!” and, sure enough, her legs were really hairy... I then looked down at my own and was slightly mortified to see that they were equally as hairy.... if not more! “I hope Nev doesn’t notice!” I thought. Nev was then telling us all about how when he worked on his last series of Catfish, he used to wear his jeans and a coat to bed because it was so cold. “Erm, okay.” I replied. We then had to gather into a big hall but the sun was so intensely hot, we were all trying to get through the door at the same time. I could feel my skin burning. “Get out my way!” I said, “I have fairer skin than you!” Next scene (gaining lucidity); I was walking around this house in which I didn’t recognise but I when I walked past a mirror I noticed that I had my tongue poking out. “This isn’t right!” I thought. “I must be in a dream!” And then bam! * I became lucid* and, being the horny goat I am at the moment, I changed the dreamscape to my bedroom and I was in bed, magicking up this hot guy (and also my fellow neighbour!) who got into bed and started kissing me. After awhile, I thrusted his head down below and he gave me the most amazing oral sex of all time and then (the icing on the cake!) he stuck it inside me and made me orgasm multiple times. Afterwards, we decided to go for round two. And then I imagined that I had a penis and, lo and behold, I grew an erect 9 incher, which I started pounding my fist at until I ejuculated (which felt amazing!) I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to have a penis and tonight was my lucky night. Praise the lord. 🙏 Next scene; I had now lost lucidity and was on my laptop on Pinterest looking at some pictures that my neighbour had tagged me in without my consent. In fact, these pictures were taken without me even knowing. “How creepy!” I thought. I then pulled open the curtains and there was a builder in next doors garden and he smiled up at me and winked. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled the curtains shut. Fran was standing next to me, moaning that she had a long bit poking out of her newly cut fringe. “Let me just cut it!” I suggested. “Noooo! It’s too fine.” She replied. (Which couldn’t be less true. She had the thickest hair 😂)