Crazy old 'phone-stealing' woman goes on killing spree

Date: 4/8/2017

By amandalyle

Someone was telling me that when we sleep, our souls leave our body. There was a demonstration of this - on a PowerPoint - using an old man and a small child. The small child's soul was hovering high in the air and the old man's soul was so low it was almost still attached to his body. It was all linked to how many bad things they had done in their lifetime (how many sins they had committed!) and whether they'll be passing over to the higher or lower planes when they die. I'm not sure who was giving this demonstration, but it felt as if I was experiencing a 'lightbulb' moment; an "of course! Why didn't I think of that?" It all made complete sense to me... at the time. Next scene; I was living in this house and sharing a bed with this older woman. Apparently she was my new lodger, but little did I know, she had actually been pinching everyone's mobile phones. I caught her in action and emptied her handbag in front of her "You've been stealing all of our phones! I think you'd better leave!" I ordered, but she wasn't having any of it and, instead, went on a killing spree and ended us stabbing a few of our roommates; one of them being Scotty T from Geordie Shore. I managed to get her out in the end and I quickly bolted all my doors so she couldn't get in. No one was at home and I was terrified that she'd break back in. I called Little Mix and they said they would send Leann over on Saturday, but it was only Friday and I started to fret. What was I going to do? Next scene; my friend Laura and I were stood outside a pub sipping drinks. She accidentally spilt hers all over the pavement, so she just bent down on her hands and knees and slurped it all up with her tongue. Next scene; Laura and I were in Toys'r' us carpark. "Oh crap!" I said. "I'm wearing my slippers!" I then pulled them up to my thighs and said "look at me! I look like Pippi-long-stockings!" She laughed, and told me not to worry. She was also wearing slippers.