A Giant Vagina Sculpture

Date: 5/18/2017

I'm in the garden, throwing out some old lanterns. They had gone rusty and were spoiling the 'zen' of my garden. Whilst busy making the garden look nice, I heard a bashing sound at the bottom of the garden. On closer inspection, I saw the next door neighbour banging around in his garage. I followed him, and he turned into an older man who I believe to be an old tutor. I waved to him and he waved back. Next scene; I'm back in school, but I get anxious because I realise I have to two lessons at the same time. "What am I going to do?" I wonder. In the end, I choose to go to an IT lesson and soon regret it ... because it's boring as fuck. Next scene; I'm with Alannah Beirne from Britain's Next Top Model and we are talking about getting together with another friend at some point in the future. I'm feeling insecure, because I know they've been meeting up behind my back (without me!) We walk through the park and back to my house, where I ask her if she wants a glass of wine and she tells me tea would be fine. I pour a glass of wine for myself, regardless. We then walk through to the garden, and she is looking at me with suspicion. One of the neighbour's had called out a different name as she spotted me walking to the house. Have I blown my cover? (What was I even covering?) Outside, my boyfriend, who is now (Kit from American Horror Story) is making some crazy sculpture. He does this sometimes. He has made a giant vagina with owls poking out of it out of rubbish he had found in the garden. It was pretty impressive, to be fair! Alanna, however, is looking at him like he has lost his mind (maybe he has?) We then take her for a tour of the house (which really isn't that impressive!) and we play pranks on her. One of these pranks involves filling the house knee deep with water. "There's a leak!" We laughed, paddle-boarding through the hallway. She's freaked out by our eccentric behaviour, makes her excuses and leaves. Next scene; I'm working in an old people's home. I hear someone crying and immediately know that it's coming from a patient called John. I rush to his room. "He must have lost his wife!" I say, hurrying over to console him. But when I walk into his room, his eyes are dry and he turns to me and says "there's no reason to be sad. We all die in the end!" I nodded and agreed, knowing that she was now travelling to a better place. Next scene; I had adopted two cats and they were ravenous. I didn't have any cat food, so I asked my mum if she could bring something out of the kitchen for them to eat. She brought out some odd looking concoctions. One of which had maggots all over it and I suddenly felt very nauseous. "Are you sure they should be eating this?" I asked. "Yeah, cats will eat anything!" She laughed. Next scene; why don't you apply to be a teacher? There's a really great teaching job at this local school." Mat suggested. "Um, I think you need to be a qualified teacher to do that!" I replied, with the roll of the eyes. "Nah, anything goes these days, Mand. Anything goes!" He replied.