Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 8/26/2019
By blucanary
~ I was your everyday hopeless, homeless, greasy-haired, bean-pole thin, dirty junkie. I became pregnant and had a baby. A little girl w/ a head full of thick black hair! Knowing all I had to give her was pain, poverty and undeserved hardships, I gave her up. It broke my heart, but I had to do what was right for her. She was taken in by my exs family (who I was still w/, Dick. Later on Dick turns into my old friend Nessa and his family turned into hers). ~ One day Dick and I went to spend some time w/ his family and the baby. They had named her Kristina. Kristina called us "Aunt Sunday and Uncle Dick". She was so excited to see us, and though we were also excited to see her, it hurt terribly to hear her call us that. I so badly wanted to be "Mommy", not "Aunt". Someone I knew, someone outside of the family, was there. Dick and I were on a couch w/ Kristina in my lap, and this other person was in an arm-chair across from us. I looked at this other person and, w/ tears pouring out of my eyes and running down my cheeks, I mouthed (so that Kristina wdnt hear me, of course) while also using my hands for gestures (like pointing to my tummy and making the round tummy/pregnant gesture and pointing to Kristina) saying, "This is her! This is MY baby! I gave birth to her"! ~Dick is gone and is now my old childhood friend Nessa; his family is now replaced by her family. Her family is into the black arts and are worshippers of Satan (in the dream, not irl. Well, I hope not irl anyway) Nessa and I were Christians. To see Kristina being raised in such a way broke our hearts. And my goodness was she becoming a vile, rotten little thing! ~Nessa came up w/ a way for us to fix things, a way for us to be a bigger part of Kristinas life and help her turn into a bright loving child of God. She didn't tell me exactly what the plan was. I was to find out as "the plan" took place. I walked into our bedroom one evening (mine and Nessa's.. I think it was more of a guest bedroom we were using while staying w/ her family). She was performing some sort of ritual. She looked stunning in a long white garment and a silver crown in her hair (wrapped around the curls of her high ponytail) - white light shone all around her as she holds her hand out to me and pulls me in to be a part of it. Kristina is in the middle of what appears to be a sort of shrine. The Virgin Mary is in the middle (life size, maybe larger, hands folded and head hung w/ a blue wrap covering her hair) Keys suddenly appear from the statues abdomen area. Piano keys, made from bone, long and sharp. Nessa starts pressing them in a certain order, playing a tune, and light shines from the keys themselves, bathing us in even more of this other-worldly golden-white light. I press my hands to the keys and Nessa helps me press the correct ones in the correct order. We perform our ritual, all the while hoping the bright lights and loud music wont give strength to Nessa's family to break into the room and stop us. They dont break in, though one or two are trying; and we succeed. ~We are transformed into skeletons. Our skulls/faces look like sugar skulls (w/ the paint around our eye sockets and cheek bones). Our bodies are hollow. No organs. No muscles. Just bone. We are skeletons w/ painted skulls and long black hair (Nessas hair is actually a light brown). We are a frightening sight and I wonder if we truly are good or if we are now the evil ones. We certainly don't look good. ~ We make our way into the dining room where everyone in the family is dining. Such a large family. I step on top of one of the tables and peer down at the family. I dont say much. I dont need to. Nessa does most of the speaking, saying we want our baby back. I do however say that they hv done a terrible job thus far in raising Kristina. She is a brat! And that is putting it nicely! I say she shd be sweet and loving. And that even if she was born w/ a bad attitude that if I had raised her then I wd hv shown her enough love and patience that she wd be a good child. A loving child who listens and obeys, not out of fear, but out of respect & love. She would be a child that smiled and laughed - not a child who threw fits and screamed! I remember looking at the family with my eyebrows (or my eye sockets, rather) scrunched up, angry (like Jack Skellington) and one by one, staring them all down... After this, we all began to fight. Nessa and I now had swords and battle had begun; a battle to the death to redeem Kristina and bring her to the light of the Lord. ~ I dont recall what happened from there. Is this where I woke up? Or is this simply where I stop remembering? Did we get Kristina back? Did the family die? What exactly did we do to them? Cliff-hangers are the worst kind of dream...
AI generated interpretation This dream is a complex and emotionally charged narrative that reflects deep-seated feelings of guilt, regret, and a desire for redemption. The dream begins with the protagonist, who is depicted as a homeless and struggling junkie, giving up her baby, Kristina, due to feelings of inadequacy and an understanding that her current circumstances are not conducive to providing a stable and loving environment for her child. The recurring theme of transformation and manifesting into skeletons can symbolize a sense of emptiness, loss, and a desire to shed one's past self, perhaps indicating a yearning for a fresh start or a new beginning. The imagery of performing a ritual with Nessa, who represents a supportive and familiar figure, suggests a shared quest for redemption and a desire to reclaim what was lost. The switch from Dick to Nessa and the transformation of the family into followers of the black arts may represent a fear of losing control or influence over the upbringing and values instilled in Kristina. The dreamer's apprehension towards Kristina becoming "a vile, rotten little thing" could reflect concerns about the negative impact of external influences on her daughter's character development and moral compass. The confrontation with the family and the battle to redeem Kristina can symbolize an internal struggle to assert authority and reclaim the maternal role that was relinquished. The swords and battle imagery indicate a willingness to fight for what is believed to be right and just, even if it means facing obstacles and challenges head-on. Overall, this dream may point to unresolved feelings of guilt, remorse, and a desire for a second chance. It highlights the protagonist's inner conflict between wanting to protect her child and feeling incapable of providing the love and care needed. Through the act of fighting for Kristina's well-being and attempting to guide her towards a brighter future, the dreamer may be seeking closure and reconciliation with her past decisions. The dream could serve as a call to reflect on past choices and find ways to heal and move forward towards self-forgiveness and personal growth.