Date: 1/14/2017
By amandalyle
I was driving along innocently, when I caught sight of a police car in my rear-view mirror. "What's going on?" I wondered, as the police car drove closer and closer ...up my arse. I was about to approach a roundabout, when my car stalled, so I decided to run for it.... I ran through a little village and tried to trick the 'now' running police officer by taking short cuts through people's gardens... meanwhile he was shouting things to me to put me off "Y'know this villiage is haunted, don't you?" As I tore through another garden, there was a guy with a hose pipe. I swiped it out of his hands and soaked the police officer from head to toe - I was expecting him to be proper pissed off , but instead, he laughed and lightened up. I put the end of the hose pipe on his manly bulge and it sucked like a hoover. He then grabbed my arm and started spraying the back of my back with the hose pipe. It was quite painful - unbearable - like being tickled and wanting it to stop. Next scene; I was looking for a book shelf with my mum in secondhand furniture shop. A lady said; "you'll like this one!" ... but I didn't. It was 80's retro - and wasn't made of real wood. My mum kept 'impulse buying' stuff she didn't need, like abstract sculptures costing £300 a piece. Next scene; I was at a Tv studio, walking around behind the scenes. It was a reality show based on the family lives of people - like a fly on the wall series. I was allowed to visit each family. They seemed nice enough, but then I came across Mat (my ex husband) He lived alone with a cat. He was completely devoted to this cat - kissing and cradling it in his arms - but then it turned into a pig that trotted around squealing it's piggy squeal... and when I looked at it again, it looked different - its head was that of a cow and it was now black and white. It trotted off to the circus, that just so happened to appear in that same room. "Is that what I think it is?" I asked. "Yep, it's a cowpig!" Mat said, waving it goodbye. Next scene; my hippy friend Laura offered me a roll up cigarette and impolitely declined. "Are you sure?" She asked "positive!" I said.