Not the Craig! *Throws arms in the air and starts screaming 'Nooooooooooooooo!'* You might be wondering who this Craig fella is. He was a kid in school that used to fancy me, but everything about him was GROSS. Think 'Bettlejuice' and you're almost there! Fast forward to modern times, and I had some how ended up in bed with him. (Had I pulled him? *gasps*) He was trying to impress me by bragging about how he was once popular back in school. This was a lie. We had painstakingly awful sex. His breath was awful. It smelt worse than rotten cat food. I kept trying to avoid kissing him, but he'd worm his tongue back in. I didn't see his dick, but I just knew he has a 'pencil'. He didn't seem to know what he was doing, even though he claimed that he was a lady's man. Another lie. Afterwards, I felt absolutely disgusted with myself and ashamed. I found him downstairs making movies with his iPhone with my kid's toys. He was sat, cross-legged, in the middle of my son's train set. I had planned to meet my mum in 5 minutes and told him - very bluntly - to fuck off out of my house: he did so, with his tail (or shall we say limp cock?) between his legs. A few minutes later, he sent me a voice message along with several videos about how much he enjoyed our night of 'passion' together and how this had always been a dream of his. I felt a tiny bit guilty for being so mean. The way I treated him was really awful. It was me, after all, who invited him home (yuck!) I went outside to wait for my mum and saw my husband and his friend waiting for a bus. Mat was being very offish with me and I was paranoid that he knew about Craig. "Where are you going?" I asked. "We're off to vivary park to watch the football. You wouldn't want to come, it would be boring!" He said (he was obviously trying to get rid of me!) I was hurt, but replied "Nah! You're right. I would hate that!" My mum pulled up and I jumped into her car. She wanted to stop off at Sainsburys, but I gasped in horror at her very suggestion - This was where Craig works (ironically, he actually works in Asda in real life!) I agreed without letting on about what had just happened, and - lo and behold - Craig was there - working in the bakery - and he gave me a little wave, followed by an air kiss *shudder*. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. When I got out of the shop, I was about to text him to say "I'm sorry I was a knob, earlier!" But then I deleted it. "Did you want some wine tonight?" My mum asked. We were now in the shop Flying Tiger. "Umm, I think so!" I said, a little unsure. "Maybe I'll get you a bottle of wine!" She said. "I don't know about you, but I can drink the whole bottle in one night!" She continued. "Oh, me too!" I said. "Perhaps we will hold off on that bottle of wine!" She then retracted. She had tricked me. "She thinks I'm an alcoholic!" I thought. My mum then dropped me off on a housing estate I didn't recognise. My friends, Terri and Laura, were there and I was trying to get into my house, but I was confused and disoriented. The houses kept changing to houses I had previously lived in. Finally, we got to 'right' house - that wasn't actually mine - but I believe to be mine, to find that it was all bordered up. "That's strange!" I thought, but popped the key in regardless.