The One Where I Obliviate a Security Guard

Date: 5/13/2025

I’m in a strange building looking out a small window as cars drive by. I notice that I’m topless and — to avoid having anyone see my boobs — press myself against the wall so that all they’ll see is the top of my head. After several people give me weird looks, I look down to find that the spot I’ve been pressed up against is a second window. I immediately leave and try to hide. I walk into what appears to be a Hogwarts common room and see Harry Potter with his head down on a table as he sleeps. I suddenly realize that a security guard — a thick black lady in a uniform — is about to stumble upon this secret room. I see her reaching for the door handle and think “obliviate.” Somehow I know that this will turn me and Harry invisible (it’s actually the spell for making people forget things). As she walks in, it’s clear that she can’t see us. She looks around the room a bit and then leaves. At some point, Ben from Lost appears, as do Lorelai and Rory from Gilmore Girls. Ben suggests that the two of us go talk somewhere. From seeing his character on the show, I decide that he could try to kill me, so I’m on high-alert. We end up on the rooftop. I look at him — he’s wearing a black suit and looking serious — pat him on the shoulder and say, “You’re brilliant.” I hope that by flattering him, I will make it out of this interaction unscathed. I end up back inside the building with a group of people as we walk down a spiral staircase. I remember that we’re having a party and playing games in what’s apparently Deion Sanders’ office. We get to the office — a dimly lit room that feels sort of like Chris Gallo’s old office under the stage — where people are standing in the doorway and waiting. I see Ludwigson — a guy I had a couple of classes with in my junior year at Park Vista — and approach him. Smiling, I say, “Hey, Lud! Remember me?” He smiles back and says that he does.