Jeremy Kyle's Shaved Pubes

Date: 5/6/2017

I found myself in bed with this guy called Mark and vaguely remember a night of steamy, passionate sex. In the morning, my daughter Phoebe walked in on us, but when I looked over at Mark, I saw that he had morphed into someone that could pass as my husband. Phoebe didn't notice and I felt relieved. Later on that day, I was renovating the house and hoped that Mark would give me a hand. He didn't though. He just sat at his laptop and ignored me, whilst I took a hefty big hammer to the walls. Next scene; I started a new job as an ATM cleaner, only I had to clean it with this 2 pence piece and it was taking forever. A hot guy came over. Apparently he was the litter picker-upper in this park we were in. He asked me how I was doing and if I was winning. I wondered what he was going on about until I look down to find the ATM had turned into a scratch card. It was one these overly complicated ones and I didn't really understand it. "Not sure yet!" I replied, and continued scratching. I then saw a cute dog racing down the path. It was white and fluffy. Something must have disturbed him, because half way up the path, he came rushing back with his tail between his cute stumpy legs. I walked up the path, to see a guy hovering over what looked like a tiny snake. The snake made a noise a bit like a sneeze and spat out a moist cat. The guy poked the cat to see if it was alive. It was dead. "I can't believe little snakes of this size can eat cats! That's insane!" I told the guy, still a bit shaken by what I was witnessing. Next scene; I was in a school assembly hall. The lights were dimmed and some kind of charity evening was taking place. I recognised a girl from school called Sasha (who also looked like this girl I know called Katie... confusing, I know!) She was still annoying as ever and a complete show off on the stage - almost screeching into the mic. I rolled my eyes. In the audience, people were being taken off to have makeovers. I had a makeover myself and when I looked in the mirror I looked like a completely different person. I had this gorgeous curly hair and I was really chuffed. I looked a bit like Zendaya. I went back to tell my friends, but they had had makeovers too and I didn't recognise them: "Oh boy, this is awkward!" I thought. Turns out, they had also change ethnicity. Next scene; I was a part of the Jeremy Kyle show, sat in the audience, but the studio was far from glamorous. It looked like my old drama hut at high school (a little bit 80's retro!) a guy - who appeared to be drunk - kept falling back off his chair. At one point he fell completely back and did three backwards roly-poly's. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. Then Jeremy Kyle pulled his pants down to reveal that he had shaved pubes. Everyone pointed and laughed. "You're completely bald!" They roared. Jeremy Kyle didn't care and continued to parade his baldy man parts.