The One Where I Flirt With Harrison Ford

Date: 8/8/2024

I’m in line with my family for what’s supposed to be the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (it actually looks more like the queue for Haunted Mansion). Renee and I are both afraid to go on, so Brody and Blake walk ahead of us with the babies. I realize that I’ll miss out on seeing them on their first ride, so I decide to go on it. I push past people to get to Brody and Blake. As we continue walking, I end up in some sort of immersive, historical experience. I’m in what looks like a colonial style jail where animatronic soldiers stab animatronic children to death. There’s a voiceover explaining that eventually, the execution of children associated with pirates was seen as “too gruesome” and was stopped. I feel the urge to get my kids out of here as quickly as possible. I keep walking until I end up outside with a woman who apparently works with underprivileged youth … I’m standing outside some sort of fancy event when I make some kind of comment about what a crush I have on Harrison Ford when I see him — looking about how he did in his 50s — walking right by me. I’m immediately struck by how handsome he is and get all embarrassed. He smiles at me, and I see that he has entirely gold teeth. I’m confused by this, but smile back as we make jokes back and forth.