Oh Shit! My Husband Caught Me F*cking Chris Evans. 😳

Date: 5/22/2017

By amandalyle

I woke up in actual sweat after this one. I had cheated on my husband with ... Chris Evans (and for those of you who don't know - he's some fifty-something ginger Tv personality who is zero in attractiveness - sorry Chris! So what actually happened? Chris had come over one evening to watch some reality tv and keep me 'company'. I had no intentions of sleeping with him, because I can't say that I have ever been sexually attracted to the guy (not even in his hay day!) Anyway, to cut a long story short, I had sex with him on the pull out sofa and his penis was so small that he had to practically lie plank-ways to get it to stay inside me (it must have been a micro!) He came almost immediately and I was absolutely disgusted with myself. I wouldn't have fucked him, if he hadn't have kept going on at me. I thought I had gotten away with it. When I looked at my phone to check the time, it was half 1 in the morning. Mat would still be in London, asleep. But how wrong I was! I found him in the bathroom with the kids, he looked at me in sheer disgust and said, "So, you've finished fucking him now!" I went to grab his arm and explain myself... (although I couldn't really dig myself out of this one. He must have walked in on us and walked straight upstairs?) ... but he pushed me away and I could hear him saying "how are we supposed to move on from this?!" as he walked off down the stairs. I then climbed up onto the bathroom sink (like a monkey) and I was planning to slit my wrists - life was not worth living anymore. But then my daughter walked back in and I quickly dropped the blade. I jumped down from the basin and tried to talk to Mat again. In a panic, I told him that Chris was badgering me into having sex with him (although, this wasn't strictly true - I chose to have sex with him!) and Mat told me that he didn't believe me. He was collecting his things and was going to leave. *I woke up in a hot sweat thanking God it was all just a terrible dream... NIGHTMARE! * And then after texting my friend about my dream at 3 in the morning, I had the following dreams... Next scene; it had been snowing. The snow lay three foot on the ground. Everything was white and dreamy. It was nighttime and I could hear the conversations of three pigeons in the distance. They were all friends, or so it seemed. A friendly banter was going on between them, until they flew, one by one, into a tin roof and ... died. Sara Alto from last year's X-factor was there, commentating on it all. Turns out singing wasn't for her and she had now bagged herself a presenting job. She was just as airy-fairy as she always had been. "Do you want to see my turtles?" She giggled, like a naughty school girl. "Yeah, sure! Would you like to see the turtles, Alex?" I asked my son. We both went turtle-hunting in the snow - which was much fun. A lot more fun than fucking Chris Evans, that's for sure! *shudder* Next scene: I kept needing a wee. I could feel it trickle down my leg. I got up out of bed and went to the bathroom and I felt like I was on the brink of lucidity. I knew that I was dreaming because my bathroom was backwards and often my lucid dreams start with me needing the toilet. I started to flap my arms around. I was planning to fly but then I thought "I'd better finish my 'dream wee' first!" ... and then I ended up waking up. Dammit!