Don't Claw at My Tongue, Rodney Trotter

Date: 3/9/2017

By TonyDreamer

I'm at an outdoor water park. Around the perimeter of the entire park runs the world's longest water slide. I'm sliding around, enjoying the thrill until eventually the plastic slide turns into concrete. The ride becomes very uncomfortable as I'm skidding on semi wet concrete. Grit and grime from the slide is entering my mouth making me splutter and gag. When I leave the pool I can't get all the grit out of my mouth, no matter how much I spit and scrape with my fingers. I then realise that there are several long barb like wires embedded in my tongue like fish hooks. Rodney Trotter from sitcom Only Fools and Horses walks by and I tell him of my predicament. He offers to help and I tell him not to pull at the barbs. Immediately he sticks his hand in my mouth and begins to pull, despite my protests. I'm slapping his face and shouting at him but he seems unable to control himself and carries on trying to help.