Lucid Montage

Date: 11/10/2025

I had an hour or two period of wakefulness in the night, after which I fell back asleep into a series of dreams where I was aware and intentional about dreaming. In the first one, Blix and I were hanging out in bed. She said "I'm gonna go sleep in my room", and I was like "stay here and snuggle! you don't need to go to sleep, this is already a dream!". She wasn't buying it, and again insisted that she was going to leave and go to bed. Since I knew it was a dream, I persisted (even tho it instinctively felt kinda weird because IWL I'd definitely have respected her needs and not pushed, of course). I was like "come on, look around, does this seem like real life to you?" She didn't seem interested in engaging with this. She was so differentiated from my perspective that, for a moment, I also started to doubt--could this be waking life? I had to be really careful and make sure, so I started paying more attention to analyzing the environment and things going on. They mostly seemed reasonable... As she was leaving to walk down the hall, Blix said something that sounded like "the alarm clock is in France." I tried to call out after her, "did you just say--", but my voice wouldn't come out. I thought 'classic dream struggle', and followed her down the hall trying and failing to speak. I made it into her room and sat down next to her on the bed. I finally managed to ask, quietly, "did you just say the alarm clock is in France?" She looked back at me as if she realized she didn't have a good explanation for that, and finally just said "well it probably is!" "That's some dream ass shit!" I said, feeling vindicated. She conceded then that it probably was a dream. Then I was like "also this is like my grandma's old house but bigger and cozier." I don't remember what happened after that--hopefully we snuggled. I was thinking about how I still wanted to reason with and convince Blix, even though ostensibly she was just me. Then, thinking about how everyone in dream life is me, I started seeing a series of scenes panning and floating across vague spaces, showing many different people, all of whom kinda vaguely maybe had my face, or at least that was my interpretation. This next one was one of the more powerful dream experiences I can recall from my life, but is very difficult to explain, even though I do remember it. I'll just do my best: In a later dream, I was doing Blix's hair while we both stood in front of a mirror. I was looking into the mirror at both of us, talking with Blix. Then I started to say something about "you know how in a dream when--", but as soon as I began to say that sentence, I saw that my mouth was just staying wide open in the mirror while I spoke. Suddenly, the audio of my own words started stuttering/repeating/feedbacking in on itself, turning into a flanging cacophonic drone that was continuously falling in pitch. Whenever I would try to say something else, the first sound would add itself into the distorting cacophony, and my speech would be cut off there. Some of the droning dropped so low that it become very deep, resonant, and pulsating such that I could feel it physically. My head and eventually my entire body felt an increasing sense of pressure, from the outside or from within I'm not sure, accompanied by tingly numbness and other generally overwhelming sensations. While all of this was going on, the image of my face in the mirror was also sort of distorting. Not as significantly, though--it was more like it would melt or deform a little bit, then skip/jump back to a new image through a transition that sorta looked like that old-timey film frame-speed-misalignment affect, not sure what that's called. This was also hard to really tell, tho, because every time I would try to look directly at my face in the mirror, I could only see the image for a split second before my eyes would get automatically diverted away, usually downward. I kept trying to look at it to see how far I could push this weird dream glitching, and I really couldn't keep the gaze. This overdriving/drowning of my entire sensory experience was kinda profoundly impactful. Not necessarily wrt to any deeper meaning, or even emotionally, but just purely physically one of the most intense dream experiences I can recall. I knew it was a dream the whole time, which is why I felt comfortable enough to keep pushing it, and it just kept happening and increasing. Wild.