Brain Surgery, Erratic Driving and a Potty-Mouthed Son

Date: 9/7/2019

I had taken Neil to the supermarket to do a shop but he kept coming up with really embarrassing things to buy whilst we were going around; one of which was a pair of false teeth. I put them in my basket and hid them amongst a stack of other embarrassing things in my basket, so no one could see me. Leela from Hollyoaks was behind the counter and was laughing too. It was making me really paranoid. When we got out, we checked what we had bought and realised that there was a fair bit of shit ... and no food. Next scene; I had to go into hospital to have an operation on my brain. I had prepared myself and was ready to get it over and done with... but despite their being about 12 doctors on this particular ward, I had to wait for hours and hours and I was growing more and more anxious about what lie ahead. I was planning to work the following day, so I wanted it done as quickly as possible and be out as soon as I could. One of the doctors came over and I was sure that he was going to show me to my bed (finally!) but then he went back into his office and was faffing around for what felt like hours. My mum was with me and she is the most impatient person I know regarding waiting and she was growing more and more irritable. I went into a toilet cubical to go for a quick wee but someone took my pj bottoms from under the cubical door. “Hey! Give me those back!” I shouted. “It’s alright, it’s just me.” My mum said. “I forgot to bring my pyjamas with me!” This gang of young girls then crowded around outside and they started to have a go at my mum. Then my mum started to rage at them, shaking her fists and telling them they were useless. “These people work here, mum. You need to stop fighting.” I said, “I really need this operation!” After my mum had pissed everyone off, the atmosphere changed and we just wanted to get out of there. So we got into the car and I was driving like a crazy person to rush to a different hospital on the other side of town. I kept driving into things like bollards and street lamps, but it was like my car was indestructible and didn’t have a mere scratch on it when I arrived at my destination. As I parked, my mum had disappeared and I was now with some friends. When I got out of the car, there was a huge puddle and I had to jump over it. I managed it, but trip over as I did so, and everyone roared with laughter. “For fuck sake!” I thought. As I looked up, I saw my ex boyfriend giving me the most sinister smirk and suddenly felt really unsettled. We then entered what looked like a regular terrace house that actually turned into this really big house where this party was going on. As I climbed the stairs, I could hear my friend Jenni talking to this bunch of girls, asking if her friend would be interested in her. She said “probably not, she isn’t into redheads”. I could hear Jenni release a sigh of disappointed. I went into the garden and sat with some guys who were talking amongst themselves. This really arrogant guy walked over with his shirt off (to be fair, he had a beautiful body) and one of the other guys asked if ‘I would’ and I just shrugged. “It’s alright” he said “I can get whoever I want... I’m a model!” I cringed at his arrogance. What a turn off. Next scene; I was in a taxi with some people. One of those people was a mum from the boys school (who was also Sheridan smith) she kept showing me all these birthday cards from her ex boyfriend and crying hysterically, saying it was all over and asking me what she was going to do with her life. I mean, I felt for her, I really did... but get a bloody grip woman! I tried to comfort her as much as possible whilst secretly hoping to get out of here as quickly as possible. Next scene; I was in bed with a small baby by my side. I’m guessing the baby belonged to me. It was a sweet little thing, but it wanted to sleep right under me and every time I rolled over to the other side of the bed, it’s little face would resurface right in front of me, it’s body pressed right into my skin. “How am I ever going to sleep?!” I thought. Next scene; I was at a school production of some kind that the kids had all put together. They started singing in unison and it sounds angelic... but then I could hear my son, Maxi, at the back of the room effing and blinding and getting scolded by Mrs Goddard the SENDco. I walked over to her and asked what the problem was and Maxi said “I only said vagina!” My face shone a brighter shade of red and I remember thinking “ground swallow me whole” Next scene; I was at the beach with my friends, Kylie and Robee. Robee had had another baby and she was pushing it in a pushchair along the sand. She was struggling a bit, the wheels were getting stuck in the sand. She lifted the pushchair up and the baby fell head first into the sand. She picked the baby up by its hair and threw it back in the pushchair. “Jesus Christ!” I thought and I gave kylie the secret eyes. Afterwards, when Robee has disappeared, kylie said that should have her kids taken away from her as it’s clear that she’s an unfit parent.