The One Where I Make Out With a Gay Man

Date: 10/18/2024

I’m in a sequel to Lady and the Tramp — still in cartoon form — running around a house as Lady growls at me. I somehow end up on a small boat on the ocean — I’m now a young girl — with a boy, a basset hound, and some man who is apparently doing illegal things (we still look vaguely like cartoons but are now mostly real). At some point, the boy looks at me as though to let me know something is about to happen. Suddenly, he leans backward and knocks the man off the boat. He takes control of the boat — which now looks like a piece of debris — and we zip through the water. At some point, the basset hound starts swimming after us and we let it onto the debris with us. We look over our shoulders and see that the man is somehow gaining on us … I’m in a courtroom with my mom while we wait to see Silvia Adelman — who has apparently been in jail for trespassing somewhere while on her phone — go on trial. At some point, I look down in my lap and see a survey that I’ve written “English or Spanish” in the top right corner of. A legal team comes out, and I realize that it’s Matt Damon, who has a weird hairline and a ponytail, and Cuba Gooding Jr., whose hair looks weird and very gray. Later, Eddie Murphy comes out as the defense attorney. I turn to my mom say, “Uh, are we in a movie?” She doesn’t seem nearly as confused as I am … I’m in my old bathroom at my parents’ house with Gavin Creel (a gay Broadway star who recently passed away). He and I are flirting — even though I’m aware he’s gay — when I ask him how he’d normally come on to someone. He says something cheesy, but then looks at me very seriously and says, “And then I would do this…” He leans in to kiss me. I respond very enthusiastically and wrap my arms around his neck. I vaguely hope that he likes me as much as I like him.