TW!shadow mountain

Date: 4/19/2019

I was being sent to the psychiatric hospital for a suicide attempt. I only wanted my best friend Jack to know about me being sent inpatient, but it started to spread around school. All my friends, my entire dance team, all my classmates, and people who I would hardly consider acquaintances were wishing me well. I was in the carpeted hilled hallway in building A at west elementary, walking down the hall slowly, crying, as Gabrielle held her arm around me. Many of my classmates from my ornithology class who I don’t know well enough to call friends, were sitting along the wall clapping and crying for me. I recall Josh saying “I don’t want her to be scared to go to the hospital”. Camille and Gabe sat on the railing and Camille had a flannel on, inside out and backwards so I shouted to her “Cami! your shirt is inside out.” To which she responded “yeah I know I put it like that”. I was inside my old bedroom at mother’s house while friends and people I hardly know (and don’t particularly like) waited down the hallway by the kitchen. They were to take me to shadow mountain, the psychiatric hospital to stay in for a while. It was about 2AM and Gabrielle’s mom was going to take me there. I try to pack a bag of clothes, my toothbrush, and things I thought I might need. I’m packing alone for hours and no one wanted to let me know it was time to leave, so everyone left. Gabrielle texts me later and says “hey thanks for pissing off my mom, we had to wait on you for hours!” I don’t remember what I replied with but I know it was short and we made up quickly. Gabrielle and Madalyn were then in my current bedroom and we were trying to get in some quality hang out time before I went to shadow mountain. Apparently, I got to choose when I went, but I was for sure going because I didn’t have a choice. We were stalling for a while watching anime until we forgot I was even supposed to go. I never went to the hospital in the dream, it was just the constant thought of being sent that tortured me.