Ann Summer's Party Confessions

Date: 3/26/2017

I was at an Ann Summer's Party. There was a bedroom full of people, sat on cushions that had been arranged on the floor. Everyone was in a circle (like in school) I was chatting to my friend Terri. We were exchanging funny sex tales. She started telling me this 'funny' sex story (which turned out not to be that funny!) about how she put her new vibrater up her arse and her husband, Rich, was fucking her in the same hole. "Ouch!" I thought. "How would that even work?" We were chatting to another girl, who seemed friendly enough, but she seemed fixated on dates and how they meant something. She said she couldn't buy a vibrator on the 9th of November because it would be disrespectful. (I couldn't understand why?) I was then chatting to my uncle John, who appeared much younger and had more teeth. My cousins were on the other side of the room. One of them had just had another baby and she was heating up milk in the microwave. "Who brings a baby to an Ann Summers Party?" I thought... "and why is my uncle here?" Next scene: I was walking around the garden centre trying to find a stars and moon lantern to match my fire-pit. I was on a mission, but kept bumping into people I knew. Firstly, someone from my boys old nursery. Not 'Crazy Karen' but Naomi. She was with a (really old) lady who looked about 100 years of age. We exchanged pleasantries and parted ways. I then bumped into my friend's Terri and Laura. Laura was really pissed off at me (probably because I didn't go to her sons baptism) apparently she was out on the piss that night. I couldn't believe what I was hearing - she had only just completed rehab. I walked off in disbelief and showed my disappointment. I then continued my search for lanterns.