Short Notice Work and Janet Street Porter

Date: 1/10/2017

I'm sat with a girl by the PC. I'm uploading a New Year themed comedy music video to Facebook. I'm then sat with my girlfriend and her friends with a glass of ale. I get a phone call from the supermarket telling me they need me to come in to work. I finish my pint and intend to drive me and old school friend Martyn W to work. Other school friend Jodie T is handing out Deep Purple badges which Martyn and I wear. I allow too much time to pass knowing full well we'll be late for work. I don't care. I'm trying to steal an electric ukulele from the guitar shop using a confidence trick. I sign my name and address as an alias and walk out, having not paid. They send out Janet Street Porter to hunt me down. I hide in Wilkinson's by the tupperware. He bounty hunter assistant spots me and opens fire. I evade the bullets and run into the night.