9162018

Date: 9/16/2018

people were judging me for not having a summer job, and so i decided to get one. a nose job. i wanted my nose removed so voldemort doesnt feel lonely. i looked up best plastic surgeons in the world and dr miami wasnt on the list but there was some guy who lives in a jungle. i went there and he explained to me how hes gonna bash my nose with a club because thats how they do it in the jungle. i was like okay it cant be too bad. when i woke up from the horse tranquilizer equivalent of jungle plants, i looked at my reflection in the river and thought it looked pretty nice. a few days later im back in school. so im sitting there, tampons in my nose holes, waiting to make the best pun of my life. "what job did you have on summer break?" the teacher asked. i raise my hand and the instant she looks at me i said "a nose job"